Art Attack
by Lord Raa
Summary: One never can tell when inspiration will strike, and it has just struck Keitaro full on.
1. Prologue

Dear Mother,

I realise that there's very little you can do about my situation here at the Hinata Sou, but I must protest at the appointment of a male manager in an all-girls' dormitory!

Just last night, I had to protect one of my fellow tenants here against his predations. Konno-san might have a predilection for sake, but that does not mean that she should have to fear for her safety should she be the victim of overconsumption.

He keeps having these "accidents" where he falls against girls, often touching us inappropriately. Or worse still, when he walks in on us in the bathing area.

For someone hoping to be a Toudai student, he is rather absent-minded and, if I may say so, a little dull-witted.

I realise that I may have complained about this before, but it would appear that the Grandmother Hina has decided that Keitaro is to take over the running of the property should he graduate Toudai.

I am not entirely convinced that he will manage this task, given his apparent inability to maintain focus on his studies.

I apologise for venting my frustrations in this manner, but it does seem to help me deal with this sort of stress.

I hope to see you soon,

Love

Motoko

* * *

Dear Motoko,

First of all, yes there is very little I can do to help your situation, short of purchasing the Hinata Sou from the Urashima family and installing a new managerial team.

Unfortunately, we do not have the resources available for such a purchase, as the entire Hinata Sou property is approximately 5 hectares.

Unless you think we should sell the ancestral Aoyama home and relocate the whole Shinmeiryu School to Tokyo, I am sorry to tell you that you will have to endure things.

Remember, it is the hardships that we encounter that shape our character.

Secondly, I think it would be good for Keitaro Urashima if you were to allow him his space. It will allow him to study in peace. As I'm sure you're aware, it can be difficult to study complicated subjects with the myriad of distractions that must be going on at the Hinata Sou.

Not only will it aid in his studies, but if you keep your distance, you will help avoid the "accidents" that trouble you so much.

I can tell that you're concerned for the wellbeing of your fellow tenants. It's understandable, given your innate compassion. If it makes you feel better, it's a trait your sister often seems to lack.

But I also know that if you're keeping up with all of your martial arts practice, you will be ready to unleash your righteous fury should it be necessary.

Do your best and maintain a positive outlook, Motoko-chan, and things will turn out fine.

Lots of love,

Mother.


	2. Chapter 1

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: The famous man looked at the red cup.

* * *

Chapter 1

* * *

Keitaro let out a long yawn as he lifted his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes. He glanced at his watch and blinked repeatedly.

'It's nearly dinner time already? I guess that I'd better get washed up,' he thought with a smile.

As the former ronin stood up, he decided that a trip to the toilet was the most important thing in his life and quickly left his room, momentarily forgetting that he had left out his sketchpad.

During dinner, he received several demanding looks as the phone started to ring. Sighing, he stood up and answered it.

"Hinata Sou, Keitaro speaking, how can I help you?"

"¬I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm trying to reach Keitaro Urashima.¬"

"I'm Keitaro Urashima, how can I help you?" Keitaro responded cheerfully.

"¬I'm Takeshi Kawashima, from Saishoudoujin Publishing Company,¬" the voice explained.

"Oh yeah, I've done some freelance artwork for you in the past. What can I do for you today?"

"¬I'm terribly sorry to impose on you right now, Urashima-sensei, but we're rather desperate for some new work. Ideally, we'd like you to write some new stories and illustrate them,¬" Kawashima explained.

"I'm can't commit to a lengthy series, Kawashima-san. I'm currently studying archaeology at Toudai," Keitaro replied with a sigh.

Keitaro's grades had suffered on several occasions during his later years in high school and cram school, thanks to his obligations for Saishoudoujin. It was not something that he was desperate to repeat.

"¬I can appreciate that, Urashima-sensei. But we have some holes in our production schedule and we need to fill them.¬"

"I can't promise anything with regards to time scales, but I don't mind drawing anthology work, Kawashima-san. And I have to be careful – I don't want the people around me to know what I'm doing. They wouldn't approve," Keitaro smiled, turning to face the kitchen.

"¬I understand, Urashima-sensei. If it's alright with you, I'll send a representative out to you tomorrow morning. You'll be able to discuss the contract and the work.¬"

"Thank you, Kawashima-san."

Returning to the dining table, Keitaro prepared himself for the questioning looks from his tenants.

"So, who was that, Keitaro?" Kitsune asked, casting a questioning look at her landlord.

"It was a job offer, Kitsune."

"J-job offer? D-does that m-mean you're l-l-leaving us?" Shinobu asked, tears welling in her eyes.

Keitaro smiled reassuringly. "No it does not, Shinobu-chan. It was a job offer for some additional work that I can do here at the Inn. If I do take the job, it does mean that I'll need plenty of peace and quiet. Which means my room is now off-limits to everyone unless I'm in there with them."

"Now you've got our interest, Keitaro," Kitsune smiled. "What are you going to be doing?"

"I'd rather not say, but it's nothing that will bother any of you, provided you leave me alone," the former ronin said evasively. "I might not even take the job – it all depends on the pay and if I can fit it in with my studies."

Motoko, having remained silent throughout the exchange, cast a sceptical glance at Keitaro. She tried to see if she could gain any clues about what he was planning, but recalled her mother's oft repeated insistence that she allowed him his privacy.

Even if he had "accidentally" walked into the bath when the kendoist was changing that very morning.

Naru was also silent, but her thoughts were occupied by what she'd seen in Keitaro's room just before dinner.

The brunette had poked her head into Keitaro's room to remind him that dinner was nearly ready and she'd caught a glimpse of his sketchpad.

'Just where have I seen that art style before…?' she pondered.

* * *

Keitaro greeted his guest politely and poured her a cup of tea.

"Thank you, Urashima-sensei," Karin Sato smiled politely.

Karin Sato was wearing a charcoal grey jacket and skirt over a plain white blouse. She was a brunette with shoulder-length hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Please, just call me 'Keitaro-san'," the bespectacled man insisted, his eyes darting around the room nervously. "I don't want anyone to find out what I've been doing."

"But you always used a pseudonym, Ura- Keitaro-san," the visitor countered, correcting herself.

"Yes, but still, I don't want the people who live here to think I'm a pervert." There was a pause as he recalled the light most of his tenants saw him in. "Well, an even bigger pervert."

Karin raised an eyebrow, but shrugged it off. She knew how strange creative types could be, having negotiated several deals with artists and writers before. And Keitaro Urashima's modesty was far from the worst thing she'd encountered.

'At least he's wearing clothes,' she mused. "Very well, Keitaro-san. We were looking for you to write and/or draw a few anthology chapters for us."

"What's the theme of the magazine?" the artist asked, sipping his tea.

"It's general adult content, Keitaro-san. It's in Ero-Ero Monthly."

Keitaro's face took on a sour look. "Ero-Ero Monthly?"

"Is there a problem with Ero-Ero Monthly?" Karin asked, her eyes narrowing. "You can't argue with sales figures."

"Miss Sato, I think you're confusing popularity with quality. I appreciate that you must balance commercial interests with that of artistic merit."

Keitaro set his cup down. "But let me be perfectly clear: I will not draw for the stories written in Ero-Ero Monthly."

"Oh, thank you for your time, Urashima-san," Karin bowed politely. She got up to leave.

"I said that I will not draw for Ero-Ero Monthly, not that I would not work for Saishoudoujin," the artist said, freezing the brunette in mid step. "I was struck by inspiration and I've got a few ideas for some short stories."

"Oh, I apologise unreservedly, Urashima-sensei," the visitor bowed respectfully. She took up her seat and sat ready to hear what Keitaro had to say to her.

"They're going to be illustrated novels, rather than just ero manga."

* * *

Later, at Saishoudoujin offices, Takeshi Kawashima was impressed with how well his co-workers plan had worked.

"He's a skilled artist, so I would have been happy to have him draw the covers," he admitted. "But to get some exclusive illustrated novels… I'm impressed Kenichi."

"When it comes to artistic types, you just need to know how to handle them," Kenichi Honda smiled. "I knew Urashima would never go for just being an artist on Ero-Ero Monthly, no matter what you offered him. He's got too much pride in his work for that.

"So by making an offer he sees as insulting, he counters with the chance to prove his artistic worth. Being an agent is all about handling egos, Takeshi, and if you're willing to keep your eyes and ears open, you'll learn a lot from me."

"I humbly await your wisdom, Sensei," Kawashima bowed theatrically.

* * *

Six months later, Keitaro was sorting through the mail. He smiled to himself when he saw the envelope addressed to him from Saishoudoujin. Slipping it into his pocket he continued sorting through the rest of the day's deliveries.

Turning around, he saw that Kitsune, Motoko and Naru were standing two metres from him.

"Here you go," Keitaro smiled, handing the letters to the appropriate recipient. "Is there something else?"

"Err…" Naru faltered. She nudged Motoko to take over.

"Well, there is…" the kendoist also found it difficult to talk about what was bothering her friends.

Kitsune sighed. She rolled her eyes and finally mentioned why they were standing in front of their landlord. "Keitaro, you've been a little… distant lately, and we're worried about you."

"I've been working at my other job, Kitsune," Keitaro replied with a shrug. "It's been a bit hectic, but you know what it's like when you're working to a deadline."

The ash-blonde rubbed the back of her head nervously, recalling that she hadn't written anything for a while.

"I'm sorry for being distant, but if you'd all like to go out, I'd be willing to treat you."

Kitsune's attitude changed completely. "Are you really going to pay for us all to have steak tonight?"

"If it will make my friends happy, then I'll make reservations at le Héraut Culinaire," Keitaro smiled.

"Where did you get that kind of money?" the voluptuous tenant asked. "Just what have you been doing for the last few months?"

"It's nothing illegal, Kitsune," the young man sighed. He paused to consider how much he should reveal to his friends. "If you really must know, I've been doing some writing."

"Hey, that's my gig! How would you like it if I muscled in on your turf and started to manage a dormitory?"

"It's a different kind of writing, Kitsune," Keitaro insisted, holding his hands up in an attempt to placate her. "Besides, I've been doing some drawing as well."

That quietened down the tenants and they turned their attention to their personal mail.

"Ah, Keitaro…" Kitsune said, suddenly fluttering her eyelashes at her landlord. "I don't suppose I could have an extension on my rent?"

Naru and Motoko face-palmed at their friend's shameless behaviour.

"P-l-e-a-s-e?" the sake-loving girl asked, having appeared at Keitaro's side. She started to trace circles on Keitaro's right arm.

Keitaro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was struck by a flash of inspiration. "Kitsune-chan, how much time do you need?"

"About two weeks…" she trailed off, well aware that she was taking a major liberty. She was already several weeks behind as it was.

"Mitsune-sempai, I…" Motoko was interrupted by Keitaro.

"Ok, Kitsune-chan, but that does mean we can't go to a fancy restaurant: it'll have to be karaoke and a beef bowl instead," the landlord said in a serious tone.

"That's fine," the ash-blonde beamed as she led her friends away.

Keitaro quickly made his way to his room to work on his latest idea.

* * *

It was obvious during the evening's karaoke that Keitaro was distracted by something.

"What's wrong with Sempai?" Shinobu asked when her crush had left to use the toilet. "He keeps getting the lyrics wrong and missing the cues."

"I'm not sure; do _you_ have any ideas, Mitsune-sempai?" Motoko asked, turning to her short-haired friend.

"Real subtle there, Motoko-chan. I asked Keitaro for an extension on my rent," Kitsune insisted. "He was fine with it so it's no big deal."

"But what if…" the chef trailed off, concerned for her friends.

"As much as it pains me to say this, Shinobu-chan," Naru sighed, "All Kitsune needs to do to distract Keitaro is engineer a situation where she 'forgets' to put the sign out and let Keitaro walk in on her."

"That only happened…" the ash-blonde trailed off to count on her fingers, "Four, no five times in the last two months."

"I think you're proving the point perfectly, Mitsune-sempai," Motoko sighed. "But you should be more responsible with your money."

"I'm getting better," Kitsune insisted. "It's not like I've gotten so irresponsible I've got to offer my body to Keitaro to keep him from kicking me out."

She smiled at everyone's blush until she looked up and saw Keitaro standing in the doorway. "Ah."

The former ronin was standing with his arms folded. "Indeed."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Keitaro walked to the table and finished his drink. "Well, I think it's time to call it an evening. We've eaten, we've had some fun and we've learned something. All in all, a success, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah, let's all go home," Naru nodded. She stood up and slipped on her jacket.

* * *

A few days later, Keitaro smiled as he slipped on his shoes.

"What's up with you?" Naru asked.

"I've completed my latest piece, Naru-chan. Ahead of schedule, too."

The brunette nodded, but had a troubled look on her face. "Keitaro…"

"What's up, Naru-chan?" the writer asked, looking up as he finished tying his shoelaces. He rose to his full height. "If there's something that I can help you with, please tell me."

"Well, it's…"

"Do you need some extra time to get the rent money?" Keitaro asked with a look of concern on his face. "It wouldn't be fair if I said no to you after I gave Kitsune-chan two weeks, would it?"

"Well…" Naru trailed off. 'Damn it, that's not it all, but how do I tell him this now?'

"I've got to get to post office, but if you need two weeks, you've got it. I'll be back later, ok?"

"Ok, Keitaro."

* * *

Kitsune lounged on the sofa in front of the TV, much to Motoko's annoyance.

"Do you have any idea what that posture is doing to your back?"

Naru shook her head, having long since learned to accept the fact that her sake-loving friend wasn't going to change her ways any time soon. She turned her attention to the ringing doorbell.

She rose to her feet and answered the door. "Hello, Mutsumi-chan."

"Hello, Naru-chan. Is Kei-kun in?" the Okinawan asked with a gentle smile.

"He's at the post office right now, but he should be back before too long if you'd like to wait for him."

"Is it alright if I wait in his room?" Mutsumi asked. "I wanted to talk to him about some coursework."

"Well…" Naru trailed off when she realised that she had a chance to find out what Keitaro was doing for his money. "I don't see why not, Mutsumi-chan."

As she was led into Keitaro's room, Mutsumi was surprised at her friend's request.

"You want me to go through Kei-kun's things?" she asked, clearly shocked to be asked such a thing.

"It's not like that, Mutsumi-chan," the brunette insisted. "It's just… Keitaro got a job, and he won't tell us all the details. We're just worried that someone's going to get hurt, that's all."

"But why can't you search through his things?" Mutsumi asked, chiding her friend.

"We all kinda promised not to," Naru trailed off.

The Okinawan sighed in disapproval. "That doesn't mean I should be going through his things, Naru-chan."

"I know, but…"

Mutsumi was torn between respecting one friend's privacy and ensuring the safety of another. She hesitated until she could come up with a suitable reason not to.

Eventually, it was Naru that found the solution.

"You only have to tell us if Keitaro's doing something illegal or anything that might be dangerous, otherwise you can keep his secret."

"Ok, Naru-chan."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the front door opened.

"I'm back," Keitaro announced with his usual cheerful voice. He walked into the lounge to see Kitsune watching TV.

"Welcome back, Keitaro," the ash-blonde greeted, turning her upper body. "So, what's up at the post office?"

"It turns out that the queues move just as slowly on a Thursday as they do on a Monday," the writer smiled. "Did I miss anything here?"

"Mutsumi-chan is waiting for you in your room," the reclining girl answered.

"Oh, ok," Keitaro nodded, he quickly made his way to his room, hoping that curiosity hadn't gotten the better of Mutsumi.

Nearly taking his door of its hinges, he was greeted by the sight of one of his friends sitting at his desk looking through a sketchbook with a red face.

"M-Mutsumi-chan, is something wrong?"

"Kei-kun," Mutsumi said, "I… didn't realise that you were such a skilled artist."

"Wait, that's… I can explain," the bespectacled youth insisted. He closed the door behind him.

"You're good enough to be a professional, Kei-kun," the busty girl said as Keitaro sat at his table.

"That's for my job, Mutsumi-chan. I've been helping out with a series of illustrated novels."

Mutsumi nodded. "Who is 'Ivor Biggun'? It's his signature on the drawings."

Keitaro took a deep breath. "Mutsumi-chan, promise me you'll keep this a secret, ok?"

"I promise, Kei-kun."

"Mutsumi-chan, I've been writing a series of illustrated novels under the pen name 'Ivor Biggun' for the Saishoudoujin Publishing Company."

"But some of these drawings are…" the brunette's blush was enough for Keitaro to understand the incomplete sentence.

"Yes, I know. I've been drawing naughty pictures for the naughty stories I've been writing," Keitaro admitted. "The money's good, but I can't let the others know about it."

A small part of Keitaro had known all along that he wouldn't have been able to keep his part-time job a secret forever, but the six months had flown by.

"Kei-kun," Mutsumi interrupted her friend's thoughts. "I… would you mind… I mean, if it's possible could you… you know, draw a picture of me?"

"…"

The artist considered that request, and while there was a significant part of him that wanted to see Mutsumi naked, or at least in her underwear, he did recall that there were others at home and he could be interrupted at any moment.

"It'd be a pleasure to draw you, Mutsumi-chan."

The Okinawan smiled and removed her sweater. She was about to undo the buttons on her shirt underneath but was stopped by Keitaro.

"Wait, Mutsumi-chan, what if someone comes in? They'll get the wrong idea…"

Mutsumi nodded, having had seen the sort of misunderstanding that Keitaro was referring to on several occasions.

"Hold that pose," Keitaro instructed as he flipped through the sketchpad until he reached a blank page.

After reaching for his pencils, the artist started to work his magic, turning what seemed like harsh, random marks of graphite into a realistic depiction of Mutsumi Otohime's face and shoulders.

The whole process took five and a half minutes.

"There you go, Mutsumi-chan," Keitaro smiled as he removed the sheet from the pad.

"Thank you, Kei-kun," Mutsumi smiled as she looked at the picture Keitaro had made for her.

"I nearly forgot." The artist gestured for the portrait to be handed back to him. "'To Mutsumi Otohime, all the best, your friend, Ivor Biggun.' There you go, that should be worth something one day."

"You didn't need to do that, Kei-kun."

"Probably not," Keitaro shrugged, "but I wanted to do it for you."

"I mean, you should have signed it with your name," Mutsumi clarified. "There's nothing wrong with being who you are, Kei-kun."

The artist smiled. "Yeah, but I'd rather that everyone doesn't know who I am, Mutsumi-chan. You know what it was like when I first moved in here"

"But you should be proud of your skill, Kei-kun, you shouldn't have to hide behind a fake name."

Keitaro shook his head and handed a book to his friend. "Mutsumi-chan, here is something that I wrote a few months ago."

"'Miko-Miko Revolution, an illustrated novel by Ivor Biggun,'" the voluptuous girl read aloud. She turned it over to look at the blurb on the rear cover. "'Minako Kageyama is a shrine maiden living comfortably, if alone, at the Temple of Swords when a mysterious wandering ronin arrives to discuss business with the famous demon hunters of Jinneiryu Clan. Soon Minako's life is turned upside down and she must train in ways she never thought possible in order for her clan to survive.' Oh my."

"Yeah," the artist laughed nervously. "So you can see why I'd like to keep this a secret."

"Ok, Kei-kun, I'll keep this a secret on one condition."

"What's that, Mutsumi-chan?"

"That you write a story for me," Mutsumi blushed. "Something just for me."

"I-is there any genre in particular you'd like, Mutsumi-chan?" Keitaro asked, reaching for his sketchpad and flipping to blank page. "I mean, would you like something set in the Warring States period? Or perhaps you'd like something in modern times?"

"Just something with a happy ending, Kei-kun."

The artist took a deep breath and gave his subject a close examination, looking for details that could inspire him. He noticed that his scrutiny was causing Mutsumi to blush. 'Hmm, it's in danger of sounding pretentious, but I don't see why I can't try it…'

Keitaro started sketching the outline for his idea. He looked up. "What sort of story did you want, Mutsumi-chan? I mean, did you want a fully illustrated light novel or just something with words?"

"I… I don't mind, whatever you think is best, Kei-kun."

* * *

A short while later, Mutsumi blushed as she read the short story Keitaro had written for her.

"I… It's…"

Keitaro looked over it. "Yeah, it's not great, I'm sorry, I'll try something else for you, Mutsumi-chan."

"No, that's not what I meant, Kei-kun," the brunette insisted. "I meant that I didn't expect you to know what sort of thing… You know, the sort of thing I think I might like to do with the man I love.

"It's perfect and I'll treasure it forever."

Keitaro blinked in surprise at the sincerity of Mutsumi's words but shrugged. "I don't feel it's my best work, but if it makes you happy, Mutsumi-chan, than that's enough for me."

"How did you know what sort of thing that I might like?" the Okinawan asked, her cheeks colouring. "I've never told anyone about wanting to… you know…"

"I'm not sure, Mutsumi-chan," the artist shrugged. "I can't always, but sometimes I can just tell what sort of thing a girl likes when it comes to doing naughty stuff. I guess I could tell with you because you're an open and honest person."

"Do you think you could know about what Naru the others like?"

"Naru's too conflicted for me to get a proper reading, but I think that she wants someone decisive and take charge," Keitaro replied reflexively.

Mutsumi blinked. "H-how long have you known this?"

"Soon after I started working here," the artist answered. "Would you like me to tell you about the others?"

Mutsumi nodded.

"Motoko she wants someone manly, someone strong that she can rely on, but also someone kind and caring. Kitsune is more adventurous, but she's not nearly as experienced as the others think. Su likes the idea of hunting down her prey; she might also want to try food play. You know, whipped cream, bananas, that sort of thing."

"And Shinobu is desperate to be seen as mature, possibly because of her young age and would probably go along with so-called traditional techniques and methods. You know, missionary position with the lights out and under the sheets," Keitaro said, finishing his appraisal of his tenants.

* * *

Naru, Motoko and Kitsune had grown anxious waiting for Mutsumi to return with what she'd found out and crept towards Keitaro's room to listen in for any details.

What they heard was unexpected and it stirred up conflicting feelings in the girls.

Motoko felt that Keitaro seemed to know something incredibly personal about each of his tenants, something that could only have been gleaned from their personal journals. And she knew for certain that Keitaro had never read her diary.

Naru frowned as she mulled over the word conflicted in her head. 'Am I conflicted? I mean, sure if Keitaro was more decisive about what he wanted, then maybe I'd like him. But he's so wishy-washy…'

'Just how does he know about those sorts of personal details?' Kitsune wondered. She didn't keep a diary in case someone found out about her sexual fantasies and thought she was a slut.

The trio of eavesdroppers overheard Keitaro ask Mutsumi if she wanted something to drink and started to panic, each of them hindering the other two and preventing themselves from getting out of the way.

When the door opened, they fell over in a heap.

"What are you lot doing outside my room like that?" Keitaro asked. He looked further and saw that Motoko's head seemed to be pressed between Naru and Kitsune's breasts, while Naru's hand had lifted up her own skirt.

"Hehehe…" Kitsune chuckled nervously. "We can explain."

"It doesn't matter, but you might want to let Naru-chan sort her skirt out. The last time I saw her panties like that, she tried to punch me to Hokkaido."

The brunette blushed furiously and struggled to right her appearance.

* * *

In the kitchen, Keitaro found himself under intense scrutiny from the older residents.

"Well, Keitaro, are you going to tell us exactly what your job is?" Kitsune asked. It wasn't that big of a deal for her to know what Keitaro did, but she knew that her friends would still have some difficulty in asking the right questions.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Keitaro countered. "It's good, honest money that's allowed you to have an extension for your rent."

"Ah, about that…"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to come after you for the money," the artist smiled reassuringly.

The ash-blonde laughed nervously in response. "Thanks… But there is something that we want to know."

Keitaro sipped his drink. "Ok, what is it you want to know, Kitsune?"

"We heard what you said to Mutsumi-sempai," Motoko said, her cheeks colouring.

Naru nodded. "H-how did you learn about…?"

"About what?"

"What we want to know is how did you find out about our so-called likes when it comes to men, Keitaro," Kitsune asked.

"Well," Keitaro scratched the back of his head. "It comes from watching people."

"I knew you were a pervert, but to…" Naru's accusation was cut off by Kitsune.

"Naru if you send Keitaro flying, we won't find out about his job."

"But…"

"When I said watching people, I mean watching from a café and the like. You know, looking at their body language, seeing how they react to the things they see," the former ronin clarified. "I don't mean drilling holes in walls and staring at them when they're changing."

"No, you just have the unfortunate habit of walking in on them," Kitsune teased. "So you've managed to get a handle on our tastes in men. Or so you think…"

"Your private life is your own, Kitsune," Keitaro shrugged. "As long as you're not hurting anyone or breaking any rules, I don't really care what you do in your room."

"So you don't mind if one of us brings home a guy?" the ash-blonde asked.

"I do, but only because it's against the rules," the young man answered. After taking another sip of his drink, he added, "It's a dormitory, not a love hotel."

"So what were you working on that you needed to send to the post office so urgently, Keitaro?" Naru asked.

"It's my latest work; an illustrated short story."

"What's it called?" Kitsune asked. "And what's it going to be published in?"

"I…" Keitaro realised that if he wasn't careful, things were going to get out of hand. "I'd rather not say, it was a working title, after all."

"Oh, but where's it going to be published in? So we can be on the lookout for it."

"I used a pseudonym."

"You're not going to make us buy a load of different magazines just to keep this a secret, are you, Keitaro? That's so mean…" Kitsune teased.

"It's a specialist publication, Kitsune; it's only available via subscription," Keitaro said, looking increasingly unsettled. "And I think that you have to pay for a non-refundable subscription up front."

"Oh…" the ash-blonde replied. "Never mind then."

But just as Kitsune made a mental note to dig deeper for more information about Keitaro's work, Motoko realised something.

"Keitaro, what is the name you write under?" the kendoist asked. "Just in case we find your work reprinted in another publication."

"I…" 'Crap,' the artist thought. "If you must know, it's Biggun."

'Biggun? Why does that sound so familiar?' Naru pondered. "Well, I've still got some studying to do. I'll see you at dinner time."

* * *

Sitting at the desk in her room, Naru was trying to focus on her studies. Unfortunately, she was being distracted by Keitaro's revelation.

After three quarters of an hour of not getting anywhere with her work, the auburn haired girl finally decided to find out why something about Keitaro's work seemed so familiar. She got up from her desk and locked the door to her room.

Sure, there was that troublesome hole in the floor, but at least this way, people weren't going barge into her room while she searched her private archive.

The archive itself was a black box that was kept in the bottom of the closet.

'Not brought this out for a while,' Naru thought as she carried it over to her desk. She opened the box and placed the lid to one side. Reaching inside, she pulled out the nearest item: an illustrated light novel.

There was a good reason why this book, and the others in the box, had been kept secret from everyone at the Inn. The nature of its contents were more along the lines of something a single male might have, rather than a studious good girl like her.

Yes, Naru Narusegawa had a cache of erotic publications. Some were romantic manga, though none were shoujo-ai. There was one that had some shounen-ai content, but that was because the story in it was a love triangle.

Naru had read a yaoi doujin once before, but the characters involved hadn't shown any inclination for homosexuality. The characters in question were attractive, at least in the original series, but the situation that had brought them to the point where they were having sex with each other was far too contrived for her liking.

Besides that, the art had been questionable; unlike the artwork in this novella that she pulled out next.

Tales of Ribaldry was an anthology series written under the name Red Dragon. Naru didn't have many of the volumes of the series, as different volumes explored different themes.

The volume she had in her hands focused on the sort of life she fantasised about having with Seta when she was younger: a blend of swashbuckling adventure and steamy romance in exotic locations.

Looking down, the auburn-haired girl noticed a familiar looking name.

"Keitaro said his name was Biggun… he's not Ivor Biggun, is he?"

Flicking through the book in her hands, Naru scanned for the smallest hint that some of the artwork contained inside looked anything like Keitaro's drawings.

It was near the end of the book, in the last story where she saw the familiar art style.

Her cheeks turned scarlet as she looked at the detail on the illustration. A woman with short hair, in a similarly style to that of Haruka, was being carried out of a river, her shirt was open but clinging to her every curves, and her trousers were torn in strategic places that showed off what sort of underwear she had on.

It was quite arousing, given that the man who was carrying her had a broad, heavily muscled chest and matinee idol looks.

"Keitaro did draw this…"

* * *

To be continued…?

Pre-read by Chi Vayne and previewed on various intertubes.

Stalk me on Twitter LordRaa for dull, infrequent updates


	3. Chapter 2

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Unless you're eating a bowl of muesli, you shouldn't be mixing the grape and the grain.

Chapter 2

* * *

Naru was conflicted. On the one hand, she had to tell her friends what Keitaro was doing, but they would want to know where she got her proof.

And she couldn't just reveal that she had a collection of erotic literature, even if it was many times smaller than she suspected Keitaro's to be.

Not only that, it wasn't right for her to reveal Keitaro's secrets. Ignoring the uproar that would ensue, Haruka would be unhappy.

Haruka Urashima could be a scary woman if she wanted to be. There were stories about how she had fought off perverts on subway on the way home from a night out with Kitsune.

Of course, Kitsune's account had seemed wildly exaggerated, in that it included the use of firearms, but Haruka hadn't confirmed or denied that she carried a gun when she went out for an evening.

Deciding that she shouldn't write off the option of showing her friends, Naru decided to pack up the rest of her illicit materials and hid the anthology that contained Keitaro's work under her mattress before leaving her room for dinner.

* * *

Shinobu knew what she had to ask Keitaro for. "Keitaro-sempai, I…" she faltered, suddenly looking down at her meal.

"Is something wrong, Shinobu-chan?" the ronin asked.

"I… I need you to sign a permission slip for me," the chef said, blushing heavily. "T-there's a school trip going to Kobe soon, and I want to go. It's for a history project."

"I'm going on that trip too!" Kaolla Suu declared. "You have to let Shinobu come with me, Keitaro!"

"Of course you can go, Shinobu-chan. I'll sign the form after dinner."

"When is this trip, Shinobu-chan?" Naru asked.

"It's two weeks on Wednesday," the youngest resident answered. "I've been trying to ask one of my parents since last week, but I couldn't get hold of them…"

"Don't worry about that, Shinobu-chan, you can go," Keitaro said with a sincere smile.

"Shinobu-chan, do you think it would be ok if I came with you to Kobe?" Naru asked. "I want to go shopping there, but I always felt that I didn't really have a good enough reason to go on my own…"

"Of course, Naru-sempai!" Shinobu nodded happily. "What about you, Motoko-sempai? Would you like to come with us? And you Kitsune-sempai?"

"I'd love to come with you, Shinobu-chan, but unfortunately, I've got some work to do," the ash-blonde replied with an apologetic look on her face.

It was true that Kitsune had to do some work; however, the more pressing reason for her to decline the offer was the poor state of her finances.

If she couldn't submit an article soon, things could become awkward with the rent situation.

"I too would like to come with you, Shinobu-chan," Motoko said. "Let me know what the travel arrangements are and I'll tag along, if that's alright with you?"

"Of course it'll be fine," Shinobu smiled. "What about you, Keitaro-sempai?"

"Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as Kitsune, I'm too busy."

"Don't worry, Keitaro, I'll get you a souvenir," Kaolla beamed. "I'll get you one, too, Kitsune."

"If you insist on buying me a present, then I couldn't possibly turn down the gift of a bottle of sake…" the short-haired girl said, not overtly demanding a bottle of alcohol, but certainly not being subtle about what she wanted.

It was enough to cause Naru to roll her eyes, though she didn't say anything.

* * *

Keitaro's evening was not going well.

His homework had already been completed to a satisfactory standard; it was his other work that was causing him trouble.

Despite having the time and the motivation to write something new for his employer, inspiration was stubbornly refusing to come to him.

He wasn't sure if it writer's block, as he wasn't at an impasse with a particular story. It was more the case of him struggling to come up with the story concept itself.

Keitaro looked around his room, hoping to get some inspiration, anything to help spark off a new story.

He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. 'I got nothing left. I want to write, I love to write, but writing doesn't always love you back. It's like creative writing's a tsundere.'

"A tsundere... maybe that's the key?" the ronin pondered aloud as he started to look at his sketch pad.

He scribbled down a few notes before leaving to use the toilet.

Five minutes later, Keitaro returned in time to caution Naru about sneaking into his room.

"Naru-chan, is something wrong?"

"No, I… was just wondering if you wanted a drink," the auburn haired girl said nervously.

"I'm fine thank you, Naru-chan. I'm a bit tired, so I think I'll turn in early tonight. See you tomorrow," Keitaro smiled.

"Yes, see you tomorrow."

* * *

The following morning, Kitsune looked glumly as she digested the news she'd received from a co-worker.

There had been some restructuring at the publishers and they were terminating the generous freelance contracts that had been negotiated during the economic boom years. Gone were the days of 20 yen per word articles about frivolous nonsense like the rise in cat ownership versus the decline in dog ownership.

Instead the new contracts included details like a minimum of two articles to be submitted per month and at a rate of 10 yen per word with no guarantee of publication.

Sure, Mitsune could regularly crank out a 10,000 word article on life for a modern single girl in Japan, but that seemed far too much like hard work to her.

"Kitsune-sempai," a gentle voice called out. "You've got some mail."

"Oh, thank you, Shinobu-chan," the ash-blonde smiled as she walked over to her friend and took her message. She looked at it hesitantly for a moment, noting that it had come from her publishing company before leaving for her room.

Upon closing the door, Kitsune opened the envelope.

'Miss Mitsune Konno,

As you may be aware, the recent economic situation has been a challenging one. We have tried to maintain our current staff levels for as long as possible in the hopes of a sustained economic recovery.

Unfortunately, all official forecasts suggest that we will have to restructure certain departments to maintain commercial viability throughout these challenging times and one of the areas earmarked for restructuring is that of the freelance writers.

We appreciate all of your hard work and effort over the time of your employment with us, but we are unable to continue with your current terms of employment.'

"Crap, it's true," Kitsune muttered. "They're cutting the rate for articles."

She read on.

'Our records show that you have not submitted an article for publishing for some time. Unfortunately, that has led to the decision to terminate your contract with immediate effect.

We wish all the best for the future in all your endeavours.

Regards,

Tetsuo Yamadera

Sesukechiwan Publishing'

"What? How can they do that to me?" Kitsune demanded from the empty room. "Don't they know how much rent I owe?"

The short-haired young woman flung herself onto her bed and let out a depressed sigh. "If I don't get some money together soon, Keitaro's going to kick me out, I just know it."

Mitsune mentally ran through all the times she'd managed to distract Keitaro from his rent collection over the past few months. Sometimes it was a genuine inquiry about his freelance artwork, others it was with a little flash of flesh.

Occasionally, when things looked really bad, she caused trouble. A false claim here, a 'is that someone sneaking into your room?' there and Keitaro would scurry off to protect his beloved drawings or flee in order to avoid a beating from Naru or Motoko.

Looking out the window, a thought popped into her head. "Maybe Haruka-san can help me? And maybe she'll…"

As Kitsune's words trailed off, a blush appeared on her cheeks. "It's incredibly unlikely, but you never know…"

* * *

Haruka Urashima was sipping at her coffee when her best friend strolled in with a hopeful look on her face.

"I'm not in the mood for drinking right now, Kitsune," the smoker pre-empted.

"Oh? Isn't every day a great day for a drink?" Kitsune smiled back in response.

Haruka shook her head and placed her coffee on the countertop. "So, what brings you here, Kitsune?"

"I… I need some help," the ash-blonde answered. She looked around and confirmed that there was only the two of them in the tea house at the moment. "I'm in a spot of bother."

"How much?"

"What?"

"How much do you owe and to whom?" Haruka asked as she wrapped her fingers around the coffee mug. "Experience has taught me that with you, it's usually money, Kitsune."

Kitsune laughed nervously. "Well, the good news is it's not a yakuza loan shark or anything like that."

"That is good news," the older woman drawled. She sipped her coffee some more and place the cup down. "And the bad news?"

"I kinda owe three months' rent."

Haruka gently tapped her fingers on the countertop. "You owe Keitaro three months' rent? Are you going to tell me why you haven't paid the rent for three months? You are aware that many landlords would have thrown you out after the first month, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, but I can explain – I haven't been inspired to write anything lately and that's kinda the other part of my problem," the short-haired woman admitted.

"Go on," the older woman gestured as she drank more of her coffee.

"I've been let go," Kitsune said as she handed the letter she'd received to Haruka.

Haruka scanned through the letter and handed it back. "You have my sympathy, and I don't mean the kind where you point and laugh. But what do you want me to do? I'm not hiring anyone right now, and I can't fire someone so you can replace them."

"You have to help me, Haruka-san," Kitsune pleaded. "I can't go back to my family."

"I don't remember there being any bad feelings between you and your family, Kitsune," Haruka said.

"There aren't, but it's…" the ash-blonde took a deep breath and continued. "Here, I've got so much freedom: I can stay out 'til whenever I want without answering to my parents; I can wear what I like without people judging me.

"Not only that, but I get the feeling that they'd be slightly disappointed in me – I mean, they think I left home to make it in the big city. If I come home with all my stuff, they're going to think I failed miserably. Plus, they don't have the space for all my things."

"Ok, so you can't go home," Haruka conceded. "You can't stay here – there's only one bed. And I sleep in it."

"It'd only be for a short while…" Kitsune shrugged. She turned to Haruka and playfully fluttered her eyes at her. "Besides, I thought we were close enough to share certain things…"

"I don't swing that way," the smoker chided. Though her thoughts drifted back to the year she spent with Seta and Sara's mother. 'That singer got it wrong – it wasn't the summer of 69, it was more like the summer of threesomes…'

"Boo," Kitsune pouted. "So, what could I do?"

"Find some rich guy to marry," Haruka answered. "I'm sure you can find someone to appreciate your advances more than I ever did."

"Yeah, but where do I find someone who isn't sleazy and would take care of me?"

"I can think of one person," the smoker said with a dreamy look in her eye.

"Who?"

"Keitaro," Haruka said with a wistful sigh.

"Keitaro?" Kitsune repeated, missing her friend's reaction to the name. "Ok, sure, you're family and you're going to portray him in a positive light, but what makes you think that Keitaro's such a great catch?"

"You obviously haven't had a massage from him. Or tasted his double-choc mint cookies," the smoker replied.

The short-haired woman pondered her friend's words. "Keitaro's got kitchen skills?"

"Of course he does, his parents wanted him to take over their bakery," Haruka reminded.

"And since when do you let people touch you? You must have soft spot for Keitaro, is it here?" Kitsune grinned as she reached over to grab her friend's breasts.

Thwack.

"Ow…" the would-be groper whimpered as she rubbed the top of her head where Haruka's paper fan had appeared from nowhere and struck her.

"I'm particular about who touches me, Kitsune, you know that. Being pawed like that makes me feel uncomfortable," Haruka chided. "Besides, what makes you think that you're a prize? You're unemployed, you're in debt and you don't have any domestic skills."

"I've got these," Kitsune countered, drawing attention to her breasts. "They're even bigger than yours, Haruka-san."

"It takes more than large breasts to sustain a relationship, Kitsune. So unless you're willing to move from freelance journalism to compensated dating, your options are limited."

Kitsune blinked. She knew that her friend had long been a realist, but this was an unsettling change of tone. It was almost defeatist.

"Is everything alright, Haruka-san?"

"I… I'm tired, that's all, Kitsune," Haruka said before finishing her coffee. "I haven't slept well for the past few nights and it's catching up with me."

"Sounds like you need a massage," the short-haired girl winked playfully. She rubbed her hands together. "I don't have a great deal of experience, but I'm willing to learn how to rub you up the right way."

Haruka cast withering look at her friend. "Are you always this 'hands-on' with the girls at the Inn?"

"No, not always…"

Haruka pulled out a cigarette. "Look, we're friends, and I like you a lot, but I'm just not interested in that kind of relationship, Kitsune."

"It doesn't have to be a relationship, Haruka-san, just an encounter or two…" Kitsune countered. "You shouldn't knock it until you've tried it."

"What makes you think that I haven't?"

"You've slept with another girl?" the sake-loving girl's posture changed. "Who? When? And do I know them?"

Haruka chuckled. "I've said too much already. How do you want to deal with the rent situation with Keitaro? Do you want to speak with him first or do you want me to handle it?"

"I don't know what to do."

The older woman stretched. "It should be you who deals with this, but I can't see Keitaro throwing you out into the street. Unless you've left him in a room with a weird alien pod..."

"I think we're all out of alien pods," Kitsune replied. "But how do I tell him that 'I can't pay the rent arrears because I just lost my job. Also, let's get engaged so I don't have to pay them!'?"

"You don't," Haruka answered. "You have to tell Keitaro the truth, but it's how you shade the truth that's the important thing. But before we continue along this path, there's one thing you should know: if you hurt Keitaro, people far more vicious than I will find you."

"How vicious are these people?"

The smoker let out a wry grin. "It'd be best to focus on treating Keitaro properly."

"O-ok," Kitsune nodded, clearly unsettled by the idea that there was someone more protective of Keitaro than Haruka. "So, what version of the truth do I tell Keitaro?"

"How far are you willing to go to stay living at the Inn and not have to pay the back-rent?"

"I don't know," the ash-blonde shrugged. "What are you planning, Haruka-san?"

"Tell Keitaro that you need to get married to him as soon as possible."

The door opened and Keitaro entered the teashop. "Hi, Au- err, Haruka-san. Kitsune, can I talk to you?"

"I'm kinda busy at the moment," Kitsune replied, knowing full well what Keitaro wanted to talk to her about.

Keitaro sighed. "Sorry, but I've been going over the records, and I need to talk to you about the rent."

"Kitsune can't pay because she's being blackmailed," Haruka lied effortlessly. 'I hate lying to Keitaro. It's not fair, damn it. You better appreciate this, Kitsune!'

"B-blackmail? C-can't you go to the police?"

"No, they threatened to…" Kitsune trailed off, hoping that Keitaro would draw his own conclusions.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Keitaro asked.

"Well," Haruka said, looking around the teashop. She was about to continue when a customer walked. "We'll talk about it tonight, ok? I'll be over at 9."

"Ok," the bespectacled Urashima nodded. "I'll do what I can to help, I promise."

* * *

During the early evening, Haruka looked over the notes she'd taken and wondered if this scheme to save her friend's skin was worth it.

Kitsune was her best friend, and if it was anyone else, then it'd be no contest.

However the other person in this scheme was Keitaro.

For as long as she'd known him, Haruka had always cared for Keitaro. Their relationship had started out similar to that of an older sibling looking out for an annoying little brother, but when Keitaro had learned how to do things for himself, he'd bust a gut to help people.

It was most endearing, and the smoker had wondered what it would have been like if their ages had been closer together. Would she have been more forward with her affections, like Kanako?

Would Keitaro have attempted to seduce her?

Haruka let out a sigh as another possibility entered her head. "Perhaps Keitaro and I wouldn't have gotten along at all?"

Shaking her head to clear it of the silly notion, she looked over the notes again. "I still don't see how Kitsune getting married to Keitaro is going to stop any 'blackmail'."

Haruka frowned at the empty state of her coffee cup and left to make a fresh brew. As she stood waiting for the machine to finish its cycle, the thought of having someone to look after; and in turn be looked after her gained in appeal.

'If only…' "Wait, that's it!"

Returning to her seat with the fresh coffee, Haruka started to scribble down notes as to the best way to get Kitsune out of the hole she'd dug herself into.

* * *

At a quarter to nine, Haruka knocked onto the door to Kitsune's room.

"Come in," the tired voice called out.

"Perk up, Kitsune, your best friend has just saved your bacon."

"You have?" the ash-blonde asked. "How?"

"You were trying to get some better working hours when you upset the wrong person at the company and they've made your office life a living hell. Everyone whispered things and you tried to ignore them. Three months ago, you tried to make peace, but the price was too high," Haruka explained. "You're not the kind of girl who sleeps with just anyone."

"Ok, I'm with you so far. And then what?"

"After some fear and intimidation, you decided that you couldn't face going back to the office to submit your work, and you can't tell HR what happened. Since you haven't been working for them, they've had to let you go. You can show Keitaro the letter you were sent."

Kitsune nodded. "This is good stuff, Haruka-san. Why don't you try writing short stories yourself?"

"Because I don't have the time, Kitsune; besides which, I already got this from a story. Now, here's the tricky bit. You need to convince Keitaro that because you're in such a delicate emotional state, you need the stability of a formal relationship" Haruka said solemnly.

"Are you sure Keitaro would go for this?" the sake-loving girl asked. "It does seem rather far-fetched and Keitaro's got a soft heart, not a soft head."

"How well can you sell the despair of having to sell your body on the street to pay for drugs?"

"Whoa, this is getting pretty dark here, Haruka-san," Kitsune countered. "Are you sure about this?"

"No, but what choice do we have?" Haruka countered.

There was a knock on the door. "Kitsune, Haruka-san, are you in there?"

"Come in, Keitaro," Kitsune called out.

Keitaro opened the door and closed it behind him. "Is there anything I can do to help either of you?"

"Yes," Haruka nodded. "For the moment, just sit there and be understanding."

Nodding, the young man took a seat in front of the bed and looked intently at his tenant.

Kitsune took a deep breath and began to spin a web of lies, embellishments and half-truths based up the facts she could show and the scenario Haruka had outlined.

After ten minutes, Keitaro was visibly concerned for the short-haired young woman. "I-is there anything I can do to help? I mean, I can't really offer you a paying job, Kitsune, but I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"I… all this change has made me…" Kitsune sniffed. "I need something I can rely on… Someone who's there for me and isn't going to get rid of me because I can't pay my way…"

The bespectacled Urashima welled up. "Kitsune… I will take care of you. From now until I die, I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe and happy."

"Keitaro…" the ash-blonde sighed. She didn't want to manipulate Keitaro, but Haruka's plan was working like a charm and she couldn't see any other solution.

Haruka had remained silent throughout the exchange, her feelings carefully hidden. Despite keeping her feelings towards Keitaro a secret for so long, she didn't want to endanger her friend.

'Damn, now I know how Kitsune felt whenever she moved aside for Naru…'

Keitaro turned to his cousin. "Haruka-san, is something wrong?"

"… I… it's hard to explain, Keitaro. Some other time, we're dealing with Kitsune now."

"Oh, ok, but if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I'll even make cookies."

"Does that mean I get some cookies?" Kitsune wondered aloud. When she realised she'd caught everyone's attention, she looked rather apologetic. "Heheh…"

"Some other time, Kitsune," Haruka decided. "It's too late to be making things in the kitchen tonight. But I don't think a massage is out of the question. For both of us…"

"A-are you sure?" Keitaro asked, swallowing nervously. The last time he'd massaged Haruka, his hands had brushed up against her breasts. That memory had sustained him through many long, lonely nights.

At least it had until he realised that Haruka would be disgusted with him for his behaviour. 'I'm sure that Haruka-san wouldn't like me touching her there.'

"Yeah, Haruka-san seems to think that you've got magic hands, Keitaro," Kitsune purred.

Keitaro blushed, unsure of what to say or do next. He turned to Haruka for anything that might help him out.

The conflicted look on his cousin's face made his stomach clench.

'Is this a game? How much trouble is Kitsune in?' the ronin wondered. He swallowed to help calm his nerves. "Ok, but I'm a little out of practice."

Kitsune winked playfully before sitting down on the floor in front of Keitaro and rolling her shoulders twice.

Hesitantly, the bespectacled Urashima reached out and put his trembling hands on the ash-blonde's shoulders. Slowly, he started to rub the neck muscles.

When Keitaro gradually gained confidence that he was doing the right thing and continued with his task, Kitsune shifted slightly as she said, "Down a bit Keitaro."

"O-ok," the ronin said as he worked on what felt like a particularly tense area.

"Oooohh…" the voluptuous girl moaned softly.

Haruka managed to refrain from shaking her head. She knew that it was part teasing Keitaro and part Kitsune genuinely enjoying the massage. She couldn't help the feelings of envy; there hadn't been someone to look after her like that for some time.

The smoker thought back to the last time she'd had a massage. Keitaro had been the one to help ease her tension by giving her a back rub. A smile appeared on her face as she remembered the accident that had happened when Keitaro had been distracted.

It had only been accidental contact, but Keitaro's gentle fingers had brushed up against the sides of her breasts. For a brief moment, Haruka had wondered if Keitaro was taking the initiative and making a move for her.

But then she realised that he wasn't and now, in a strange twist of fate, had left her in a similar situation to where she found herself now.

Again, it was clear that Keitaro wanted to help, but Haruka found herself unable to tell him what she wanted the most. How could she?

How do you tell someone you want a relationship with them? Even if they weren't cousins, Haruka felt that she was too old to ever find someone to have a meaningful relationship with; Keitaro was entering the prime of his life, she was now a Christmas cake.

She'd wasted too much time waiting for Seta to get his act together

"Stupid archaeologist idiot with his obsession with turtle worshiping dead people…" the smoker muttered angrily.

Keitaro turned to Haruka. "Is everything alright, Haruka?"

"It's nothing, Keitaro. I'm just tired, that's all. If you'll excuse me, I'll be going home now."

"Ok," the ronin nodded. "Err, Kitsune, I think we should stop there. We'll talk about this tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok, Keitaro," Kitsune said. She turned around and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Keitaro."

When Haruka stood up to leave, Keitaro also jumped to his feet. "Err, Haruka-san, can I walk you home?"

Haruka felt her heat skip a beat at that request, but her cynicism quickly crushed her hope that Keitaro wanted to go back to her place for some fun. 'Why do I keep having these silly thoughts about Keitaro?' "Sure."

* * *

The Urashimas walked down the hill to the Hinata Teahouse in silence, their footsteps rapidly synchronising as both of them pondered what to say to the other.

Three quarters of the way down, Keitaro finally gathered the courage to speak.

"Haruka, Kitsune's situation; is it as bad as she says?" he asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"Some of the things she said don't quite add up."

"Oh?" Haruka replied.

"Y-yeah, I mean, I'm not calling her a liar or anything, and I get that someone might think that she's… you know," Keitaro said, fumbling over his words. "But do you really think that she'd let people treat her like that? I'd have helped her if she'd asked me – we all would have, but isn't it a little strange that it's suddenly now that she needs _my_ help?"

The smoker winced slightly. "It's… Let's get inside before we talk about this."

The ronin nodded and followed his cousin to the nearest door to the Teahouse.

When they were inside, Haruka locked the door before preparing a couple of drinks.

Keitaro noticed that they were alcoholic and that there were two cups. "Is something wrong, Haruka?"

"Sit down, Keitaro and I'll explain," the elder Urashima sighed. She took a sip from her sake.

Keitaro saw this and realised something was wrong. "It's not as bad as she said, is it?"

"No," the smoker replied. "She might have embellished a few details, but she does really need your help."

The ronin sighed. "Why does everything have to be dressed up and hidden with Kitsune? Of course I'll help her, but I need to know the truth. What is the situation and what help does she need?"

"Promise me you won't tell anyone," Haruka said solemnly.

"I promise," Keitaro replied, "I won't tell anyone what you're about to tell me."

"Ok. Kitsune hasn't had a paycheque for the last three months and the publishers have just let her go. The plot against her is just a lie to get you to help her."

"Damn it! Why does everyone have to try and manipulate me?"

Haruka killed her drink. "T-there's something else you need to know, Keitaro."

"What's that?"

"Kitsune came to me for help earlier and I helped her with her story to get you to help her out."

"Y-you too, Aunt Haruka?" Keitaro demanded, his frustration causing his slip.

Haruka looked at her empty cup. "I didn't want to hurt you, Keitaro," she said before refilling it.

"Ok, so now what do we do? Should I tell Kitsune that I know the truth? Should I pretend that I don't know any better?" the ronin asked before knocking back his sake. "I ask because it sounds like you and Kitsune have this whole thing worked out. Yet another person has plans for me!"

"It's not like that, Keitaro!"

"Oh? Then what is it like?"

"I… I'm sorry, Keitaro. I… Kitsune's my friend, right? I don't want to see her kicked out into the street," Haruka said. "But I don't want to see you end up broken hearted or alone, like me."

Keitaro blinked. He hadn't thought about Haruka's situation before. She had more friends than he did – the girls at the Inn weren't really his friends, not like Shirai and Haitani. Not to mention that they were better friends than his two schoolmates. He doubted that they'd do anything like this to save him or each other.

"Y-you're alone?"

"Keitaro, the last time a man touched me in an erogenous zone who wasn't a doctor was you when you gave me a back massage."

The ronin's face fell. "I… that was an accident! My fingers slipped! I didn't mean to touch your boobs!"

"I know, Keitaro, I know," Haruka sighed. "I've been alone for a long time now, and I don't want you to have to go through that."

"You really think that Kitsune and I would be a good match? That is why you suggested that I go out with her to solve her problem, right?"

"Yeah. But you can't tell me that you'd hate getting frisky with her. I hear all sorts, you know."

Keitaro laughed nervously. "Ok. So how do I help Kitsune without blabbing her secrets to the others? They're going to want to know why we're suddenly getting together like this. The only thing that springs to mind is…"

"A baby," Haruka finished. "They're going to notice that something's wrong when Kitsune doesn't start showing in a couple of months. Of course, if you were to get Kitsune pregnant, then the cover story would fit. Hell, it'd be the truth!"

"A nice idea, Haruka, but there's a slight problem – I know that Kitsune doesn't feel anything for me. Well, certainly not enough for her to want to spend the rest of her life with me," the younger Urashima countered.

"Perhaps you're being overly hard on yourself, Keitaro? Remember, I hear things."

"Perhaps. Anyway, it's getting late and I'm tired. We'll work some more of this out in the morning," Keitaro said, standing up. "Good night, Haruka. See you tomorrow."

"Night, Keitaro."

* * *

To be continued…

Pre-read by Chi Vayne, previewed on various intertubes.

Stalk me on Twitter LordRaa for dull, infrequent updates.


	4. Chapter 3

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: A rakish angle. I like it.

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

Keitaro opened the door to the Inn and saw that Motoko was standing there with a concerned look on her face.

"Is something up, Motoko-chan?"

"Is everything alright? Kitsune seems rather… distracted by something."

Keitaro paused as he tried to word his response. He didn't want to lie to Motoko, but he didn't want to tell her Kitsune's secrets. "It's something that Haruka and I are helping her out with. Hopefully, we'll have everything sorted in a couple of days, so please bear with us, ok?"

"Of course, but if Kitsune's in trouble, all she needs to do is ask for my help, and I'll be there," the kendoist replied.

"I'll let her know," the ronin smiled politely. He let out a yawn. "Sorry, Motoko-chan, but I'm really tired. I'm going to turn in now, see you in the morning."

"Good night, Keitaro."

Keitaro walked to his room, his gaze focusing on the floorboards. His footsteps and breathing had been the only noise he made on his way to his room.

As he approached his room, he looked up to see that Kitsune was peeking out from behind the door to her room.

"Keitaro… I…"

Keitaro let out a sigh as he glanced up at the ash-blonde's face, his own expression a blend of fatigue and disappointment. "What is it, Kitsune?"

"…" Kitsune's eyes opened when she realised that Keitaro knew. "I… I'm sorry, Keitaro."

"We'll deal with it in the morning, Kitsune, when I've got a clear head."

"I… I didn't want to…" the ash-blonde trailed off as she reached out for her landlord.

"I said we'll deal with it in the morning, Kitsune," Keitaro snapped, causing Kitsune to recoil in surprise. "Look, I'm too tired to deal with anything that doesn't involve me sleeping, ok?"

"Sorry, Keitaro, I'll leave you to get some rest."

* * *

In her room, Kitsune clenched her fists in frustration. She was angry at herself for letting things get so far out of hand.

Angry at herself for needing her best friend's help in such a harebrained scheme.

And she was angry at herself for lying to Keitaro like that. Playing him like a fool was still easy pickings, but when he'd offered to take care of her for the rest of her life, it became clear just how far he was willing to go for her.

"If I'd been a bit more honest, it still could have worked… Shit! I fucked up royally!" she cursed.

The ash-blonde rubbed her face as she tried to figure out how to get out the hole she'd dug for herself.

She'd already discounted going home to her parents. Haruka had made it clear that she wasn't willing to put her up long term.

The other residents couldn't afford to pay her rent, and even if they could, why should they? She lacked the domestic skills to help Shinobu with the chores; she had no fighting skills to help Motoko with her training; and Naru was smart enough to get into Toudai on her own.

That left Su with her crazy experiments.

"And Keitaro," she whispered. "But why would Keitaro agree to help me now?"

Sure, if they'd been dating for a while and he'd gotten her pregnant, then he'd take responsibility. But that wasn't going to happen, now that he knew what she was willing to lie about.

She needed help. And there was only one person she could think of.

* * *

Haruka glared at her ringing mobile phone. She had decided to let it go to voicemail and continued her evening's drinking.

After another two minutes, the phone started ringing again, causing the smoker to let out a curse.

Reaching over and grabbing the infernal device, she was about to remove the battery until she saw who was calling her.

"What is it, Kitsune?"

"¬I… I need some help, Haruka-san.¬"

"And just how badly have you screwed up now, Kitsune?"

"¬Keitaro knows… how do I get him to let me stay?¬"

"You seemed willing to put your tits to good use earlier, Kitsune, so let your sweater puppies run free!" Haruka smirked.

"¬You're drunk!¬"

"And why wouldn't I be? I mean, I only conspired with my best friend against someone very dear to me. Helped you break his heart. No, can't think of a reason why I might need a drink tonight, Kitsune," the smoker mocked. She reached for her cigarettes and lit one up. "Ok, so how badly have you screwed up, Kitsune?"

"¬I tried to talk to Keitaro when he came back, but he told me to leave him alone,¬" Kitsune answered.

"Since you decided that you like living at the Inn, you could wait until morning. Hope that Keitaro's calmed down enough to help you with your problem," Haruka said before taking a long drag on her cigarette.

"¬What if he doesn't calm down?¬"

"Why wouldn't he calm down?"

"¬I don't know, maybe he hasn't had much sleep?¬" Kitsune suggested. "¬Maybe we've upset him so much he can't sleep? He seemed pretty grouchy to me just now.¬"

"Then help him relax, Kitsune. It's not like you weren't willing to do it with Keitaro," Haruka replied. "Unless that was a lie, too…"

The ash-blonde swallowed nervously at the change in her friend's tone. "¬No, I still am, but… is it really a good idea to sneak into Keitaro's bed? He made it clear that he wanted to get some sleep.¬"

"Then let him get his rest, Kitsune. If you're that worried about him being in a bad mood, then take care of his morning glory for him."

"¬…¬"

"I'm hanging up now, Kitsune. I've given you some advice, it's up to you what you do with it. Just make sure you don't hurt Keitaro," Haruka said as she ended the call.

* * *

In her room, Kitsune wondered what she should do. She could sneak into Keitaro's bed.

"No," she said, rejecting that idea. If she was willing to make up a false sexual harassment story about people trying to get her to sleep with them, then just slipping into someone's bed was just going to make her look like the biggest hypocrite in town.

No, she'd have to let Keitaro get his sleep.

Of course, that did leave her with what to do in the morning.

Should she visit him first thing and apologise for lying to him?

If so, what should she say? Could she word it so it wasn't a pack of lies, but painted her in the best possible light?

Would Keitaro accept her apology?

What if Keitaro told her to leave? He would be well within his rights to tell her to get out and never come back.

What if Keitaro did accept her apology and, by some miracle, agreed to continue with the plan?

The others would never believe that she and Keitaro suddenly fell in love. They'd be suspicious, and quite rightly so. That meant that they'd need to have been dating for some time before they could announce an engagement.

How long was suitable? Six weeks? Six months?

Would Keitaro make her get a job to pay the rent arrears and any rent until they got engaged?

What if during their "dating" she fell pregnant? Would that speed things up?

That brought up another issue – when would it be "proper" for her to sleep with Keitaro? She wasn't some cheap floozy, but she still needed to make amends with Keitaro.

Would Keitaro force the sex issue? How far would he expect her to go? What if Keitaro wanted to do horribly perverted things with her? Was she willing to let Keitaro tie her up and spank her?

Was she willing to spank Keitaro if that's what he was into?

What if Keitaro wanted to do it outdoors? A kiss and hug in public was one thing, but having sex outdoors?

Kitsune's head was spinning with all the questions and doubts. "Why did you have to be such a nice guy, Keitaro? I wouldn't feel bad about this if you were a jerk…"

Sighing, the ash-blonde pulled out her emergency stash of alcohol and took a long drink of sake. She looked at how much she'd drank and it made her grimace, but the sake also made her drowsy. Closing the bottle, she changed out of her clothes and into bed.

* * *

The morning came, and Kitsune's self-medication hadn't helped her sleep. Her mind had gone over the possibilities of how the conversation with Keitaro could go.

They had been boiled down to either Keitaro accepting her apology or rejecting it.

However, both of those options had potential to fork off into unforeseen directions.

If Keitaro accepted her apology, would he still agree to her original plan?

If Keitaro rejected her apology, would he kick her out of the Inn?

The thought of having to move out still scared her. And while moving out of her parents' place had been a big enough adjustment out of her comfort zone, Haruka had been there to help her deal with the change; just like she had with the other tenants.

Except for Suu; he seemed to be an exception to most rules.

Yawning loudly and stretching, the ash-blonde glanced at the clock, barely believing that people could want to be awake at this time.

"You better appreciate…" Kitsune trailed off as she realised that she wasn't up at this time for Keitaro's benefit, but for her own. She shook her head before climbing out of her bed and opening her closet. "What's the best thing to wear when apologising?" she asked rhetorically.

Her eyes roamed the hangers, searching for something suitable. And while there were several outfits that hugged her figure, they were more suited for a night out than first thing in the morning – if any of the other tenants saw her, there'd be too many questions.

So that discounted the slinky dresses. And the red silk China dress that was a little tight around the chest whenever she wore a bra. Her beachwear, while alluring, was also something that would raise questions.

"Sleepwear or underwear?" she asked herself as she alternated her attention between her reflection in the mirror and her underwear draw.

Standing outside Keitaro's room in her best lacy underwear would certainly get his attention but, again, there would be awkward questions if she was seen. And judging by the sounds coming from the garden, Motoko was certainly up and about.

Kitsune was about to give this up as a terrible idea, when she spotted her kimono. It wasn't a formal kimono, more a piece of cosplay gear that showed off far too much thigh and cleavage to be considered decent.

That was part of her sartorial dilemma resolved. Now the question was what to wear underneath it?

"Well, I am trying to convince Keitaro to let me stay rent free…" Kitsune said moments before she took off her sleepwear and slipped her kimono over her naked body.

* * *

Keitaro had already put his alarm into snooze mode once that morning. It had taken him a while before he'd gotten to sleep, thanks to his brain focusing on how to deal with the situation Kitsune had brought about.

Eventually, he'd given up thinking about and emptied his head of all thoughts about the curvy girl. That had helped him get some sleep, but also had the effect of making him forget why he was upset with the girl.

There was a knock on the door. The urgency was enough to force Keitaro to get out of bed and see who it was without putting on his glasses.

Upon opening the door, the ronin could just about see that it was Kitsune who had gotten him up.

"K-Kitsune? What is it?"

"Keitaro… I…" the ash-blonde hesitated as she heard footsteps rapidly approaching.

"Kitsune, it's early and I can't see properly, what is so important that it can't wait until I've woken up properly?" Keitaro asked with a sigh.

"It's about yesterday…"

"Yesterday? What happened… oh, right, yesterday," the visually-impaired youth sighed.

"I…" Kitsune looked around and saw that it was Motoko who was quickly approaching. Not wanting to explain to her friend why she was standing in Keitaro's doorway dressed in a very short and rather inexpertly tied kimono, she pushed the young man into his room.

Unfortunately for the short-haired girl, Keitaro lacked grace, poise and the general ability to stay on his feet and he fell backwards, somehow causing Kitsune to fall on top of him.

Just as Motoko walked past the doorway.

"W-what's going on here?" the kendoist asked, aghast at the compromising situation before.

"I fell," Keitaro insisted.

Motoko was a little sceptical, but reasoned that if Keitaro was planning something perverted, he'd have arranged to land on top of Kitsune. Having decided that it was either an accident or Kitsune trying to get out of paying her rent on time, she reached forward and lifted the sake-loving girl off their hapless landlord.

It was then that the kimono finally relented in its struggle to maintain Kitsune's modesty and fell open, revealing her large, creamy white breasts.

The kendoist saw that Keitaro was getting quite the view and panicked, but she slipped and somehow managed to cause Kitsune to splay her legs lewdly.

"K-Kitsune, y-you're…" the scarlet-cheeked Motoko stammered, quickly realising that Keitaro wasn't looking at her or Kitsune and decided that bringing his attention to the indecent exposure was a bad idea. Silently, she dragged her nearly naked friend away.

The fact that Keitaro still being half-asleep meant that he only just realised what had happened and that he'd missed the show Kitsune had put on. Of course, if he'd been wearing his glasses, he'd have seen everything.

That thought made him blush furiously, almost as much at Motoko.

"Now what do I do about Kitsune?" he asked rhetorically.

* * *

In her room, Mitsune was being chastised by Motoko for her actions.

"Mitsune-sempai, just why were you going to see Keitaro dressed like that?" the kendoist demanded.

"I… It's nothing to worry about, Motoko-chan," Kitsune insisted weakly. "I know what I'm doing."

"A-are you and Keitaro…"

"No, we are not dating. We're not having guilt-free casual sex, either."

"Then why were you visiting Keitaro dressed like… that?" Motoko demanded. "You're naked under your kimono. You wanted something from him, what was it?"

"Maybe I just wanted him?" Kitsune winked teasingly.

"…" Motoko shook her head. "It's not my place to judge you, Mitsune-sempai."

"But you are anyway, Motoko," the ash-blonde countered. "But before you do, there's something you should know."

Kitsune handed her friend the letter from her publisher.

"Oh… Kitsune, you should have said something!" the kendoist said, throwing her arms around her.

"Yeah, but… these things are hard to talk about some times."

Motoko nodded. Pride was a powerful influence on a person's actions. It could make you ignore good advice and lead you into a disaster just as easily as it could motivate you to improve yourself.

"Could you keep this a secret?" Kitsune asked. "It's a big shock and I still don't know what I'm going to do about this just yet."

"I will, Kitsune, and I will help you as best I can, but my allowance won't cover another's rent here."

"It's ok, Motoko-chan, I'll figure something out."

* * *

During breakfast, Naru noticed that something seemed off. Keitaro seemed to be walking on eggshells around Kitsune. He wasn't shunning her, just trying to avoid anything that could be misconstrued by Motoko.

And Motoko seemed to be alternating her attention between Keitaro and Kitsune.

It seemed a bit odd, but the brunette was currently too busy with her studies to investigate further.

Suu was being her usual energetic self, and Shinobu's cooking was as excellent as ever.

Keitaro declared that he'd finished his meal and stood up. "I've got something to attend to this morning, so if you need me for anything, it'll have to wait until this afternoon."

"What are you going to be doing?" Naru asked.

"I've got to talk with Haruka about something," the ronin said, hoping that Naru wouldn't press further.

The brunette turned to Kitsune, someone who would often press Keitaro for information. Kitsune surprised her by just shrugging.

Keitaro missed the nonverbal exchange and thanked Shinobu for the meal. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I-it's ok, Sempai," the chef blushed.

After Keitaro left the table, Naru turned back to Kitsune. "Is everything alright, Kitsune? Normally you'd have gotten every little detail out of Keitaro."

Motoko realised that Kitsune's situation was about to be revealed and decided to act. "We don't need to know every detail about Keitaro's life, Naru-sempai."

"What if it affects us? Don't we have a right to know?"

"Of course we do, but if there's a problem, Keitaro will tell us," the kendoist replied.

"Yeah," Kitsune nodded before finishing her coffee.

"Something feels suspicious on this…" Naru decided, her eyes narrowing. "Almost as if you're plotting something…"

"It's no good, Motoko-chan," Kitsune sighed. "Naru's seen through our façade. We were going to have to come out of the closet sooner or later."

"C-come out?" the brunette asked, her jaw dropping.

"Yes, you see, Motoko-chan and I are lovers."

Motoko started to splutter. "K-Kitsune! What are you saying?"

"It's no good, Motoko-chan, we can't keep lying to our friends like this. I thought that Naru-chan would understand why I like it when you wear that strap-on…"

Naru blushed as the dots were joined. "K-Kitsune…"

"Why do you think I was always checking your chests for size?" the ash-blonde asked, her face still straight as she laid on the act. "I was waiting for someone to get to the right size. And Motoko reached that size a few weeks ago."

"M-my chest hasn't changed recently!" Motoko insisted. "And I don't have a strap-on, whatever one of those is!"

The brunette quickly realised that her friend was playing a joke on her to prove a point. "Alright, I shouldn't have tried to pry into Keitaro's affairs. But still, don't you think that something feels different?"

"Maybe, but perhaps it's just a change in the weather?" Kitsune suggested.

"Err… Kitsune-sempai…" Shinobu hesitantly spoke up. "What's a-"

"It's not something you need to worry about, Shinobu-chan," the sake-loving girl replied, cutting off the question.

* * *

Keitaro knocked on the door to Haruka's place. He hoped that he wasn't bothering her too much, but when he noticed that the curtain for the window that looked directly over the door had moved, he winced.

There was a wait of several minutes, but a sleepy looking Haruka opened the door to let him in.

"Sorry about this, Haruka-san, but I needed to talk to someone about this."

"Fine, you can make me breakfast," the smoker grumbled.

"Of course," Keitaro nodded. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Please," Haruka said around a yawn. She watched Keitaro prepare some breakfast with an unusual focus. "So, what's so important that you have to wake me up this early on my day off?"

"I… it's about Kitsune. She came to visit me this morning."

Haruka reached into the pockets of her dressing gown and frowned for a moment.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just… I'm just used to carrying cigarettes around in my pockets. I forgot I don't keep any in my dressing gown. So, Kitsune visited you first thing this morning, did she?" the smoker smirked.

Keitaro poured two cups of coffee and handed one to his cousin. "Err, yeah. She fell on top of me."

"Thanks," Haruka savoured the warmth of the cup for a moment. "So, did you like having Kitsune on top of you?"

"It wasn't like that! Motoko…" the ronin paused as he realised that he was making it worse. "Motoko helped Kitsune off me. And kind of accidentally opened the kimono Kitsune was wearing. I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't see anything."

"Ok. So what's the problem? If Kitsune was going to a guy's room dressed in only a kimono, she expected to be seen naked by that guy."

"Yeah, but…" Keitaro trailed off as the food finished cooking. He plated it up and handed it to Haruka. "Look, Kitsune's a friend, right? I can't let a friend down like that, but I can't afford to let her stay for free."

"Didn't we decide that you should get engaged to her?" Haruka shrugged before digging into her breakfast. "This is good, Keitaro. I might have to draft you in for busy periods."

"Thanks," Keitaro nodded his head before drinking some of his coffee. "But how can I trust Kitsune, Haruka?"

"She didn't want to hurt you, Keitaro."

"I know, but to just come out with a load of lies like that…"

"She was desperate. Desperate people often have to take desperate measures," the smoker replied. She moved her head and let out a yelp of pain.

"Is something wrong?"

"It's my neck; I must have slept funny last night. I don't suppose you'd be willing to help make it better, would you?"

Keitaro nodded and moved to behind where Haruka was sitting. He rubbed his hands together before massaging his cousin's neck. "Let me know if it's too hard."

'If Kitsune heard that…' Haruka thought, a knowing smile forming on her lips. "Ooh… that feels good…"

The ronin smiled, the knowledge that he'd helped someone had improved his mood.

"You know," Haruka said, her eyes closed as she felt the soreness worked away, "if things had been different I might have put the moves on you."

That caused Keitaro to stop immediately. "W-what?"

The smoker clenched her jaw as she realised that she'd let her something slip. "I said, 'can you move down between the shoulder blades?'"

"Oh, sorry, my mind was wandering; I thought you said something else."

Haruka just smiled as she continued to feel conflicted about the situation. How could she tell him how she felt? What would Keitaro do if he found out she had often wondered what would have happened if they'd been closer in age or their ages were reversed?

She'd enjoyed it when he'd touched her breasts. It had only been the side and clearly accidental contact, but it had made her feel wanted again. The fact that it had been Keitaro touching her just made it more exciting.

'If only…'

As inexperienced as he was, Keitaro noticed that something was wrong. "Haruka-san, I… Is something wrong?" he asked as he took his hands off her neck.

"I…" There was a knock on the door, cutting the spinster off. "I'll get that."

* * *

Motoko stood nervously at Haruka's door. She wanted to help Kitsune, but had no clue what to do. She needed advice, and of all the people she knew, Haruka had the most life experience.

The door opened and Haruka poked her head around it. "Motoko-chan, what can I do for you?"

"I… I need some advice. I think one of my friends is in trouble."

Haruka sighed. "How much trouble?"

"Quite a lot…" the kendoist answered with a wince.

In this sort of situation, the friend who needed help was more often than not fictitious and it was the one asking for help who needed it. The degree of separation reduced the embarrassment enough for the request to be made.

Haruka sighed again. It was just not going to be her day. "Come on in, but I can't promise to be any help."

"Thank you, Haruka-san," Motoko bowed politely before stepping inside. She noticed that there was a pair of shoes of masculine styling. "I didn't know you had company, Haruka-san. I didn't mean to intrude."

"It's fine, Motoko-chan. Now, what's the problem with 'your friend'?"

"I… don't want to betray her confidence, but I think that she's got some sort of financial hardship."

"Financial hardship?"

"Y-yes…"

"Are you're talking about Kitsune, Motoko-chan?" Haruka asked, her gaze fixing her friend in place.

"I…I can't really say…" the kendoist said, hoping that she was doing the right thing.

"If you're talking about Kitsune losing her job, I know. So does Keitaro."

"Oh…" Motoko relaxed slightly.

"In fact, Keitaro's here now, hoping to get some idea of what to do about her. He also told me about this morning," Haruka explained.

"So, what can we do to help Kitsune? I don't want her to be evicted."

"Well, Kitsune's options for staying at the Inn are: for her to get another job or for her to… well, you saw what she was trying for this morning."

The kendoist blushed as she recalled the compromising situation she'd encountered that morning. "We should help her find a new job."

"So you don't approve of Keitaro and Kitsune getting hitched? Are you jealous of Kitsune?"

"N-no," the raven-haired tsundere insisted.

"Then you're jealous of Keitaro?" Haruka teased.

"What?"

"I'm seeing if you're paying attention, Motoko-chan. So, why don't you want Keitaro and Kitsune to have a serious relationship?"

"I… I don't know," Motoko replied weakly.

Haruka sighed. "Look, Motoko-chan, we both know that Kitsune's quite the joker. She likes to tease, flirt and generally cause mischief for her own amusement."

"I'll say…"

"But that still doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a chance at an adult relationship. Especially if this person will take care of her."

The kendoist looked sceptical. "But…"

"You're worried about her feelings being genuine, aren't you?" the smoker asked.

"Yes… I don't want to see people I care about getting hurt," Motoko said.

"Neither do I, Motoko-chan. But what's going to convince you that they're both serious about this?"

"I… I don't know…"

"Then what do you know, Motoko? I'm not trying to be difficult here; I want to help my friends too. I can't offer Kitsune a job, and unless you can find her one, I think we know where that leaves us, don't you?" Haruka commented.

"I suppose that Mitsune-sempai knows what she's doing…" Motoko admitted. "But…"

"Look, Keitaro's here if you want to talk to him."

"Haruka, who is it?" Keitaro asked as he appeared. "Oh, Motoko-chan, I'll give you some privacy."

"Not so fast, Keitaro; Motoko's got something she wants to say to you."

"I do?" the kendoist asked, suddenly finding her fingers most interesting.

"Yes, you do," Haruka said in a stern tone.

"Oh, right… Keitaro, it's about Mitsune-sempai…"

"I know that she's just lost her job, Motoko-chan," the ronin interrupted. "I'm not about to kick her out into the street."

"I appreciate that, Keitaro, but how long can you wait for her to get another job?" Motoko asked. "She could be out of work for months."

"What do you want me to do?" Keitaro asked. "Do you want me to let her stay for free for six months? Until this time next year? What about the rest of you? If I'm letting Kitsune stay for free, why not the rest of you?"

"Calm down, Keitaro," Haruka said as she reached out and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry, it's just that I can't help but feel that we're going round and round in circles here. None of us really know what to do here." Keitaro sighed. "Look, Kitsune is my friend. I like her, I like all of you and I'd be saddened if any of you left."

"I appreciate that, Keitaro, but…" Motoko took a deep breath. "Mitsune-sempai was willing to have a serious relationship with you in order to stay."

"I know, Motoko-chan, but I can't help but feel that she'd just be going out with me to get free rent and meals," the bespectacled Urashima sighed. He scratched his head. "Damn it, that makes her sound like a horrible, callous person."

"But she was willing to get married to you to stay at the Inn," Haruka countered. "She wouldn't have considered it if she didn't like you. For all her flirting, Kitsune doesn't sleep around with just anyone."

Motoko looked between the two Urashimas. "Wait, have you discussed this with Mitsune-sempai?"

A knock at the door cut off any answer.

"Be right back," the smoker grimaced.

* * *

Mitsune was not sure what she expected her friend to do to help her. Haruka had been the one to suggest that she get together with Keitaro, and a plan had been worked out.

Of course, Keitaro had initially gone along with this cunning plan and believed the fabrication, thanks to her performance.

But Keitaro, while a nice guy, wasn't a complete idiot and had questioned certain things, leading him to figure out that it was a lie.

Haruka hadn't been too sympathetic when the truth had come out, but at least she was being discrete.

Haruka…

Haruka was not like any of Kitsune's other friends. Kitsune often joked, went out drinking and generally set the world to rights with her. There was also something else about Haruka that Kitsune liked.

It had taken a little while for the ash-blonde to figure out, but she did eventually realise that she had a bit of a crush on her friend. It wasn't full on lesbianism, as Kitsune knew what she liked in a man, but she certainly wouldn't have objected to a threesome with Haruka if that's the way an evening panned out.

Kitsune knocked on the door to the teahouse and took a deep breath.

Haruka opened the door and waved her in. "The more the merrier."

"What do you?" the sake-loving girl asked as she saw Keitaro and Motoko inside. "Oh. Hi guys, what brings you here?"

"I… I was concerned about you, Mitsune-sempai," Motoko said, looking rather apologetic about discussing a private matter.

"I'm still trying to figure what to do about you," Keitaro shrugged. "We keep going round and round in circles, but I still can't decide what the right thing to do is."

Haruka closed the door and shook her head. "I'll put the kettle on and we can talk about this in a civilised manner."

The quartet walked into the teahouse proper and took up seats around the bar.

"Right," Haruka said as she started to heat up some water. "Kitsune wants to stay at the Inn, but she's just lost her job. Unless someone can find her a new job, she'll have to leave the Inn."

"I don't want her to leave," Motoko said. "You're my friend, Mitsune-sempai, and I don't want to see you hurt."

"No-one wants to see Kitsune hurt," Keitaro sighed. "I… If things had been different, I would have gotten engaged or married to you, Kitsune. But I know you don't have those kinds of feelings for me. I like you a lot, but I can't have a relationship like that."

Kitsune looked down. She felt terrible. She knew she'd screwed up big time and, as Keitaro had pointed out, things had gone different, she'd have her solution.

And it wasn't like Keitaro was a bad choice for a husband. He was working to get into Toudai; he was going to inherit the Inn; he was kind, considerate and genuine. Hell, all this introspection was beginning to make her wonder if she should spend some time with him.

Alone time.

"I'm sorry, Keitaro. I didn't mean to lie to you, but what else could I do?"

"It's alright, Kitsune, I forgive you," the ronin smiled.

The kettle boiled and Haruka poured out some tea for everyone.

"As happy as I am that the people I care about now friends, I have to ask what are we going to do?" asked the smoker. "I don't have the space for a long term roommate."

"Kitsune, I can't afford to pay you any money, but I can sort of offer you a job," Keitaro said calmly. "It'd be helping around the Inn. You'd be helping out with the day to day running. I don't mean repairs and maintenance, but things like the cooking and cleaning."

"I'd be working for room and board?" Kitsune asked, unsure of how she felt about that.

"If he could afford to pay you, he would," Haruka said, giving her friend a glare. "And this would only be until you found another job, right, Keitaro?"

"Yeah, of course it is," the young man nodded.

"It's a fair deal," Motoko opined. "This way everyone is happy and there's nothing that could be… called into question."

Kitsune considered the offer. 'I was hoping to avoid work, but I suppose that helping out around the place won't kill me.'

"Ok, I accept your generous offer," she bowed politely. "You're not…"

A theatrical cough from Haruka cut off the short-haired girl's cheeky question about wearing a maid's uniform.

"I'm glad that we've got that all settled. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to get dressed," Haruka said as she left for her bedroom.

"Thank you, Keitaro," Kitsune smiled warmly. "I really appreciate this."

"It's alright, Kitsune," Keitaro replied. He turned to Motoko, who was nodding in approval. "Is everything alright with you, Motoko-chan?"

"Yes," the kendoist nodded. "I also wanted to thank you, Keitaro-san."

"For what? I'd have helped any of you out like this."

"For not…" Motoko paused as she realised she was about to say something that could easily be considered insulting. "For your discretion on this matter."

* * *

Shinobu wasn't surprised to see Kitsune in the kitchen as she started to prepare lunch. What was a surprise was the fact that Kitsune was wearing an apron.

"Kitsune-sempai, is something the matter?"

"No," the ash-blonde smiled. "It just occurred to me that I don't really know how to cook. I thought that you could teach me how to make something a bit more advanced than instant noodles."

"Oh, of course I can," Shinobu smiled in reply.

"So, what are we making today?" Kitsune asked.

"Grilled mackerel."

* * *

To be continued…

Pre-read by Chi Vayne and previewed on various intertubes.

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter LordRaa for dull, infrequent updates.


	5. Chapter 4

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: It's just a pint of ice cream.

* * *

Chapter 4

* * *

Over the next couple of days, things seemed to be going well for Kitsune and her newfound, though currently clandestine, role at the Hinata Sou.

Shinobu was glad to have someone helping her. Sure, Kitsune wasn't exactly thrilled to be peeling vegetables or washing rice, but it did mean that meal preparation times were reduced and Kitsune's help was more practical than Kaolla's.

The princess often tried to spice things up if Shinobu wasn't keeping an eye on her. Not to mention the attempts to include bananas in every meal.

As part of Kitsune's domestic training, she was being taken grocery shopping. It was a new experience for her. She was used to shopping for clothes and booze, sure, but it was different when you're looking for freshness in fruit, vegetables and fish.

Out of the corner of her eye, the ash-blonde caught a glimpse of someone who looked like a taller, older version of Motoko catching a bus.

Shinobu calling out to her stopped her from following up.

"Kitsune-sempai, over here!"

'Weird, though I suppose that it could be Motoko's sister…' Kitsune mused. "Coming, Shinobu-chan."

* * *

The doorbell to the Hinata Sou rang, causing Motoko Aoyama to take a detour from her original plan to get a drink from the kitchen.

Normally, Keitaro would have answered the door, however he felt that he'd been neglecting both his studies and part time job over the last few days and asked not to be disturbed for the next few hours.

When the young Aoyama opened the door, she was greeted by the unexpected sight of her sister, Tsuruko standing there.

"Aneue! Motoko squeaked loudly, beads of sweat forming on her brow. "What brings you here?"

"It's you, strangely enough, Motoko-han. Mother was concerned about your letters," the elder sister explained.

"M-my letters?"

"Yes, you see, a while ago, your letters were filled with angry comments about your new landlord, Keitaro Urashima. However, in your last three letters, you haven't mentioned him at all," Tsuruko explained. "Mother has asked me to investigate."

"Investigate?" Motoko asked, confused by her sister's comments.

"Yes, she was worried that you'd accidentally killed Urashima-san."

"KILLED? No, it's nothing like that at all! In fact…" the younger sister swallowed nervously. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the man in question. "In fact, I'm engaged to Keitaro."

Tsuruko's face remained neutral. "Engaged? And when were you going to tell your family about this important news?"

"I… it's a recent thing," Motoko lied.

"And what sort of person is Keitaro Urashima? What makes him worthy of you?"

"He's… well, he's a kind-hearted person and he's studying to get into Toudai. Not to mention that he's got not one but two jobs. He's going to inherit the Inn one day."

"He sounds interesting, when can I meet him?"

"I… I'll get him now," Motoko said as she walked to Keitaro's room. "Keitaro!" she called out when she knocked on the door.

There was no reply.

"Oh, it seems that he's not in his room. I'm sure that he'll be back soon."

Then the front door was closed. When the time for someone announcing their return had elapsed, it became immediately clear that someone had planned to sneak out, only for the door to slip out of their hands.

"Ah…" Motoko winced.

"Indeed," Tsuruko replied neutrally. "If I wasn't so open-minded, I might assume that Keitaro-san is avoiding you."

"We don't know that was Keitaro," the younger sister insisted. "It could have been Mitsune-sempai, or Naru-sempai."

"Like I said, I'm open-minded, Motoko-han." The elder sister scanned the corridor for signs that people were still in the building. There were none.

Tsuruko thought back to the information Motoko had given them about the various relationships of her friends. She recalled that Keitaro was related to the person who ran the teahouse on the way up the hill.

"I'm a little thirsty."

"Oh, I'll make some tea, Aneue."

"Oh no, I don't want to be a bother, Motoko-han, I'll just visit the teashop I passed on the way."

* * *

Haruka looked up to see her cousin slump into a seat by the counter.

"Something up, Keitaro?"

"You could say that," the ronin sighed.

The smoker winced. She poured Keitaro a cup of coffee. "Want to tell me about it?"

"Yeah, but I don't know where to begin."

"The start is usually a good place," Haruka deadpanned. "You should know that all good stories start at the beginning by now."

Keitaro chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose so." He took a sip of the coffee to wet his lips, but before he could start, someone else walked into the teashop.

"One moment, Keitaro," Haruka said. "Can I help you, Madam?"

"I would like some tea please," the woman replied. "And some information, if it's at all possible."

"What kind of information?" Haruka asked, as she prepared a cup and a pot for tea.

"I'm interested in know about my sister's fiancé, Keitaro Urashima," the long-haired woman answered. "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm Tsuruko Aoyama. Motoko Aoyama is my younger sister."

Haruka cast a glance at Keitaro as Tsuruko rose up from her bow. Keitaro was many things, but not the sort of person to keep a long term relationship secret.

Especially since he had been willing to marry Kitsune just three days earlier.

Keitaro sighed. "Why do people keep putting me in this position? Don't I have any say about my life?"

"So you are Keitaro Urashima?" the kendoist asked.

"At your service," the ronin answered with a somewhat sarcastic tone of voice.

Tsuruko appraised the dejected looking man sitting at the counter. "Is there something going on between you and my sister that I don't know about?"

"No, she's my tenant and I'm her landlord. That's it," Keitaro shrugged.

"Then why would she say that you're engaged?"

"Ask her."

Haruka felt angry at another of her friends. Kitsune's ploy was half-expected; she hated work at the best of times. But Motoko was different.

She never expected Motoko to lie about a relationship with a man, let alone one she'd voiced her disapproval of so often.

After a moment, the anger turned to disappointment. Haruka sighed and poured some hot water into the teapot. "So what happens now, Aoyama-san?"

"I don't know, I was asked by my mother to investigate the change in Motoko-han's letters," Tsuruko explained. "After Urashima-san here took over the running of the dormitory, my sister was rather upset."

"I'll say," Keitaro muttered.

"She wrote some unkind things in the letters she sent home, but recently, there's been no mention of you in them. Mother was concerned that there had been an incident."

"You mean that she might have killed Keitaro," Haruka said, her expression turning stony.

"Yes, but when I arrived and mentioned this to Motoko-han, she said that it was just the opposite and that she was engaged to Urashima-san here," Tsuruko continued. "The only reason I can think of for her to lie like that would be she's under the impression that I'm here to take her home to Kyoto."

The elder Urashima reached for a cigarette. "And are you?"

"Not at this time, no," the visiting Aoyama replied. "May I ask why you don't seem too enamoured with the idea of marrying my sister, Urashima-san?"

"Long story," Keitaro said, not looking up from his coffee. He drained the cup and turned to get a good look at Tsuruko. "A few days ago, I was treated like I didn't matter, like I was just a solution to a problem. I would have helped this person because they asked me to, but the details were all lies. I still helped her because she's my friend and what else am I going to do? But it hurt me that she felt she had to lie to me like that.

"And now Motoko just expects me to drop everything and lie to you. I don't feel like spending the rest of my life living a lie, I'm sorry. It's bad enough having to keep my part time job under wraps without faking a relationship."

Tsuruko felt angry at her sister for forcing someone into such a position. If their relationship had been genuine, then it would have been fine. Tsuruko would have given her mother the good news and she would have shared her sister's joy.

"No, Urashima-san, I am the one who is sorry."

"Please don't be too hard on Motoko – I've just had a rough couple of days. If this had happened three weeks ago, I wouldn't have felt like this," Keitaro insisted. "It's just bad timing."

"But you still would have been forced into this lie," Tsuruko countered.

"She's my friend, what else am I going to do if not help her?" the ronin shrugged.

Haruka sighed. Keitaro was just too kind-hearted for his own good. She knew that if one of the girls needed a vital organ, her cousin would have been first in the queue to donate it.

The spinster had often wondered what it would have been like if Keitaro had been more self-centred, but aside from probably already getting into Toudai and maybe having a more successful career as an artist, there weren't any other upsides that she could see.

As bizarre as it seems, she knew she wouldn't have felt the way she did if he wasn't him.

"I don't know what to say, Urashima-san," Tsuruko said quietly. "I thank you for your honesty and your graciousness. I can't help but feel that you would have made a good husband for my sister."

"Perhaps," Haruka shrugged. "But I guess we'll never know now, will we?"

"I guess not," the swordswoman said as she sipped her tea.

"I'm getting a feeling of déjà vu all over again, but now what do we do?" Keitaro asked. "Today's mishap aside, Motoko is my friend and I don't want to see her hurt."

"You could tell your mother the truth," the smoker suggested. "Motoko hasn't killed Keitaro; in fact now that she's gotten to know him better, she likes him. You've met him and you think he'd be a good match for Motoko, but they're not ready for an engagement."

Tsuruko looked up at Haruka in awe. "Thank you, Urashima-san. You've helped everyone to save face; I am in your debt."

"No problem. It seems all we Urashimas do these days is solve people's problems."

"Perhaps, but I feel that I should repay your help. If I might be permitted to stay for the night, I will take the two of you out tonight for a meal," Tsuruko said, her tone suggesting that this was a debt that would be repaid, and soon.

"I don't know if any of the spare rooms are ready, but if you don't mind sharing with Motoko, I'm sure that it'd be fine," Haruka said. "Right, Keitaro?"

"Yes, of course," the ronin nodded.

"Very well, then I shall prepare myself for this evening. Shall we meet at up at the Inn for seven?"

"Works for me, Aoyama-san" Keitaro replied.

"Same here," Haruka nodded.

"Please, call me 'Tsuruko'," the swordswoman insisted. "I think it would be appropriate for us all to be on first name terms."

* * *

Motoko opened the front door to the Hinata Sou for the second time that day. When she saw her sister on the other side of the door, she swallowed nervously.

"A-Aneue…"

"We need to talk, Motoko. In private where no-one can hear us."

"I… we can talk in my room," Motoko said, shrinking away from her sister's glare.

"Good," Tsuruko said tersely. "Lead the way."

The short walk to Motoko's room was silent, carefully calculated to unsettle the younger sister. When the pair arrived, Tsuruko closed the door.

"Motoko-han, I've just spoken with Keitaro-san."

"O-oh?"

"Yes, and you're not engaged. In fact you're not in any sort of romantic relationship. You lied to me, and that hurts."

"I thought you were going to make me come home to Kyoto!" Motoko blurted out.

"I should do just that, given how you've behaved," Tsuruko said, her glare seemingly refusing to soften. "But while he might not be your fiancé, he certainly still cares enough about you to help you save face."

"H-he did?"

"Yes, he did. And to repay them, I'm going to take them out for a meal this evening."

"Y-you're staying the night?" the younger sister asked, unsure of what she should say.

"Yes, I shall be staying here tonight, Motoko-han."

"W-what time will we be going out?"

"We? You're not going anywhere tonight, Motoko-han," Tsuruko explained with a glare. "Keitaro-san is a good person, Motoko-han. Perhaps you should reconsider how you treat him."

"What do you mean?" Motoko asked, a cold lump forming in the pit of her stomach.

"Keitaro-san told me that had certain events not happened recently, he would have gotten engaged to you to help you out. Whether your feelings for him were true or not."

"He would have?"

"Yes. He would have. But that's a discussion for another time," Tsuruko smiled. "Now, it's time for some training."

* * *

When the clock struck seven in the evening, Tsuruko stood by the main entrance, dressed in a blue kimono with a golden floral pattern.

Her hair was tied up in a simple ponytail, and but she clearly felt nervous about something.

Keitaro walked up to her, dressed in a smart shirt and black trousers. "Is something wrong, Aoyama-san?"

"Please, I asked you call me 'Tsuruko'," the swordswoman smiled. "We are friends, are we not?"

"Of course, but… you seem rather nervous about something."

"I'm currently unarmed," Tsuruko explained.

"Oh. I don't know what to say to that," Keitaro admitted.

"I don't think I'll need a weapon tonight, Keitaro-san, but it's rare for me not to carry my blade."

Haruka opened the door and stepped inside. She was wearing a black dress that showed that she was a full grown woman. "I see that we're all ready to go."

"We are indeed," Tsuruko confirmed. "I've booked a table at Amaterasu's Garden."

"W-what? I can't eat there!" Keitaro spluttered. "It's too expensive! I'm not properly dressed! I'm too clumsy and low class for that sort of restaurant!"

"Keitaro," Haruka snapped. "We're going to Amaterasu's Garden. We're not discussing it."

"But… look at me – I'm not wearing a suit!

"Don't worry about a thing, Keitaro-san," the kimono-clad woman smiled reassuringly. "I've got friends at the restaurant. The manager owes me a few favours and I'm just calling one in."

"Oh? Are you some sort of fixer, Tsuruko-san?" the smoker asked with a teasing smirk.

"Not quite, though I did introduce him to his wife. But that's not important right now. What is important is that we get going, our table is booked for a quarter to eight."

"But… ok, but if they don't let me in, don't say I didn't warn you," the ronin shrugged before putting his shoes on.

* * *

Keitaro couldn't help but notice the disapproving looks he was getting from the people queuing up to get into Amaterasu's Garden.

He was dressed smartly but casually. However, compared to the collection of expensive suits and elegant gowns, he couldn't help but feel like a member of the unwashed masses.

The ronin's cheeks burned brightly as he felt the scorn radiating from the other patrons. He turned to Tsuruko. "I shouldn't be here."

"It's fine, Keitaro-san," the kendoist smiled as they walked to the front of the queue. "Reservation for Tsuruko Aoyama, table for three," she said to the maître d'.

The black suited man looked at his list and saw the note the manager had put by Tsuruko's name. "Good evening, Aoyama-sama. Welcome to Amaterasu's Garden, please step inside."

Haruka was impressed with the clout that the Aoyama name seemed to have, though she was a little concerned about how Keitaro was underdressed for the occasion.

As they stepped inside, a man in a tuxedo appeared and greeted them, starting with Tsuruko.

"Tsuruko-san, it's good to see you!" he beamed.

"Likewise, Koji-san, likewise," Tsuruko smiled back. "These are my friends, Haruka Urashima and Keitaro Urashima."

"Urashima-san, Urashima-san," Koji bowed politely. "Please, follow me to your table"

Keitaro was beginning to panic at the situation. Haruka and Tsuruko deserved this level of respect, but not him.

He was a third year ronin with a stupid childhood dream – why would he deserve such treatment?

Compare that with Tsuruko Aoyama, clearly a woman who'd been brought up properly and had influence and Haruka.

Haruka was… well, Keitaro didn't know how to put it, but he knew that Haruka was a special person to him. She'd always been kind and helpful to him, even when he'd screwed up massively.

She'd even forgiven him for the time he'd accidentally touched her breasts!

How could two people like them want to spend time in a restaurant like Amaterasu's Garden with the likes of him?

Tsuruko explained that she was here to get to know Keitaro better.

"Oh, I see," Koji said, appraising the young man in question. "I must confess that if he wasn't with you, Tsuruko-san, he wouldn't be allowed inside dressed like that."

"I know, and I appreciate your help with this evening, Koji-san. By the way, how is Kasumi these days?"

"Five months pregnant with our first child," the manager smiled happily.

"That's excellent news," the swordswoman replied, clapping her hands together.

"Congratulations," Haruka added.

"Yes, congratulations," Keitaro smiled.

"Thank you," Koji smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Unfortunately, Tsuruko-san, we're a little too busy for me to spend time catching up with you tonight. However, I can recommend the prawn ceviche for a starter."

"Oh, that sounds interesting," the ronin said as he was handed a menu.

"I'll give you a few minutes to decide what you want to order. Would you like anything to drink?"

"If we're having seafood, then I think I'll have a white wine," Haruka replied. "Something dry."

"Certainly, Madam, Tsuruko-san?"

"The same, but make it a Pinot Grigio," the swordswoman decided.

"We've just had a delivery of an excellent vintage," Koji added. "And what would you like, sir?"

Keitaro looked around. He knew that he was awkward at the best of times, let alone when he'd had something to drink. "Just mineral water for me, thank you."

"Very well, I'll send your drinks to you shortly."

"Not drinking, Keitaro-san?" Tsuruko asked.

"I don't want to risk making an even bigger fool out of myself than I already have," the ronin explained.

"I suppose you do have a point, Keitaro," Haruka conceded. To her it seemed a shame not to indulge if someone else was picking up the tab. Though, that might have been Kitsune's bad habits rubbing off on her. She turned back to face Tsuruko. "So then, Tsuruko-san, tell us about yourself."

The kendoist sat up straight in her seat and began to explain the training that she and her sister had gone through at the dojo.

A waiter arrived with the drinks and set them out before disappearing to attend to another matter.

Haruka sipped her wine. "Nice."

"Indeed," Tsuruko agreed after sampling her glass. "So then, Keitaro-san, please tell me about yourself."

"Me? Well, there's not much to say really. I mean, I'm studying to get into Toudai, I'm running the Hinata Sou, though I didn't know it'd been turned into an all-girls dormitory. It used to be an inn, you see. Oh, and I occasionally do some part time writing and drawing."

"Prestige aside, is there any reason why you chose Toudai for your further education?"

"It's silly…" Keitaro trailed off, feeling rather embarrassed.

"Please, I realise that it's not very easy for you, but my sister had her reasons for what she did earlier today and I want to know why she would change her opinion of you from 'a filthy degenerate' to someone who she could turn to for help," the swordswoman said.

"I made a promise when I was a kid. I… we promised a girl that we'd get into Toudai together."

"That's not silly, that's sweet," Tsuruko smiled.

"Yeah, but I can't remember anything about the girl I made the promise with," Keitaro admitted. "I also failed the entrance exam twice…"

"It's not the act of failing that defines a person: it's what they do after they've failed," the kendoist said wisely. "Do they pick themselves up and try again? Do they just lie down and die? You have picked yourself up and tried again. I like that in a man."

While Keitaro couldn't help but feel boosted by Tsuruko's comments, Haruka took a more critical view of them. To her, there was more to the metaphorical arm around the shoulders than met the eye.

Keitaro excused himself and Haruka took this opportunity to question Tsuruko.

"So Tsuruko-san, what's with all these questions? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're sizing Keitaro up for wedding ring."

Tsuruko met the smoker's gaze. "I suppose that it could seem that way. I can't deny that I see some of my late husband's qualities in Keitaro-san; I suppose that's why I wouldn't mind Motoko-han and Keitaro getting together."

"Late husband?" asked the smoker.

"He died of meningitis three years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Haruka said sympathetically.

"Thank you…" Tsuruko trailed off as Keitaro returned.

"Is something wrong?" the ronin asked picking up that something had been brought up.

"No, I was just thinking about the past," the widow answered.

Keitaro didn't know what to say to that, so he let it drift past him. "So, why did Motoko come to stay at the Inn, Tsuruko-san? I don't mean to sound horrible, but she made you out to be some sort of tyrant."

"Younger siblings often have exaggerated views of their elders. But she didn't get along with my husband. Now that I think about it, it may explain why she didn't like Keitaro-san at first."

* * *

At the Hinata Sou, Naru Narusegawa was looking for Keitaro. She had wanted to go over some of the homework she'd been set with him, as he'd recently covered the same work in his cram school.

The brunette walked into the TV room and looked around.

"Is something up, Naru-sempai?" Motoko asked, looking up from the TV.

"Where's Keitaro?"

"He's gone out, why?"

"I wanted to ask him about some homework. Wait, gone out? Where?" Naru asked. "He doesn't normally go out midweek."

"He's with my sister," Motoko admitted.

"Why is he out with your sister? They on a date or something?"

"No, Haruka-san's with them. It's… My sister just wanted to talk to them, that's all," said the kendoist.

"Hmm…" Naru wasn't sure what to make of that. From what Motoko had said about her sister, there was no chance of Keitaro getting away with any of his usual antics. Certainly not with all of his body parts intact, at any rate.

But why would Motoko's sister want to talk with Keitaro and Haruka? What would they talk about?

Naru's keen mind went over the facts and decided that there was only one conclusion: Keitaro was being interviewed for an arranged marriage to Motoko.

"M-Motoko-chan, is everything alright between you and Keitaro?"

"Yes, why do you ask, Naru-sempai?"

Naru sat down next to Motoko, hoping to keep what she was about to say as secret as she could. "I… I think that your sister is interviewing Keitaro. I get this horrible feeling that she's trying to get you two engaged."

Motoko laughed nervously. "W-what makes you say that?"

"Well, why else would she want to talk to Keitaro and Haruka unless she's laying the foundations for an omiai? It makes perfect sense."

"It does?"

"Yes," the brunette insisted. "You're going to be forced into a marriage with Keitaro to satisfy family honour."

"But why would my sister expect me to marry Keitaro?" Motoko asked. "Our families don't have any real connection, so it's not like we'd be ending a multi generational feud or cementing political power."

"Oh… but the only other reason that I can think of is that your sister and Haruka-san are planning to murder Keitaro and dispose of the body."

"Aneue isn't carrying any weapons, Naru-sempai."

"That just helps with her alibi," Naru countered. "Think about it, her sword is here, right, so there's no chance it could be linked to Keitaro's death."

Motoko shook her head. "Have you been watching Kitsune-sempai's soap operas again? What would my sister gain from killing Keitaro?"

"I don't know, but Haruka-san would be next in line to inherit the dormitory, so maybe they agreed to split the proceeds of its sale?"

The kendoist laughed in disbelief. "Do you really think that Haruka-san would let anyone murder Keitaro? She might hit him when he calls her 'aunt', but murder? No, my sister and Haruka-san aren't planning to murder Keitaro."

"Then why are they out together?" Naru asked.

"Perhaps my sister just wants to get to know Haruka-san better?" Motoko suggested. She yawned. "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired. My sister insisted that we trained earlier, and it was a bit more vigorous than I was expected."

"Ok, but there's something going on here. I can feel it."

* * *

Back at the restaurant, Keitaro was still visibly tense. Haruka smiled at him to help reassure him.

"Relax, Keitaro, short of there being a ninja attack, it's going to be fine."

"I know, but everyone's looking at me and it's making me nervous."

"Would it make you more comfortable if we left?" the smoker asked.

"I… Well… it's not that I don't like it here, but I don't fit in. If I'd known in advance that we were coming here, I would have dressed more formally," the ronin replied. He let out a sigh. "I'm very sorry, Tsuruko-san."

"But our starters haven't arrived yet," the swordswoman said, a slight frown on her face. "And I worked up a hunger training with Motoko-han earlier."

There was a pause before Tsuruko continued. "I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. I wanted to apologise to you both for my sister."

"It's alright, Tsuruko-san," Keitaro smiled reassuringly as the starters arrived. He took a sniff of his prawn ceviche. "I'll endure this hardship for the sake of your feelings."

Tsuruko laughed. "Keitaro-san, I can see why my sister's attitude towards you has softened. You're quite the charmer."

"I… I guess it's something of a gift?" the bespectacled Urashima asked, clearly on unfamiliar ground.

Haruka also let out a chuckle. "It is Keitaro. Now, how about we all share the burden of this hardship?"

* * *

A short while later, after the trio had selected the dish of the day, poached salmon with pickled vegetables and rice, they were starting to feel a lot more relaxed. Tsuruko was glad that Keitaro had finally loosened up and started get into the spirit of the evening.

Haruka was also glad that things were improving. She glanced at her wineglass: it had been refilled while she wasn't looking. Tsuruko's had, too.

'At least Keitaro is keeping to water; I dread to think how much the bill would come to if all three of us were drinking.'

"So, Tsuruko-san, does your husband mind that you've taken another man to dinner?" Keitaro asked with a teasing smile.

Haruka's face fell. 'Oh shit, Keitaro.'

Tsuruko's expression turned sad and she turned her attention to her wineglass.

The colour drained from the ronin's face as he realised that he'd blundered. "What? Oh, you stupid, stupid idiot, Keitaro," he muttered. "I'm ever so sorry, Tsuruko-san, I didn't know…"

"It's alright, Keitaro-san, you weren't here when I told Haruka-san. My husband passed away three years ago."

"I'm sorry, Tsuruko-san, I just assumed that someone as beautiful as you would be married."

Tsuruko cast a glance at Keitaro. She could see that his words were genuine. She picked up her wineglass and took a sip, savouring the taste of the dry white wine. "There's that charm of yours again, Keitaro-san. It's a heady mixture of honesty, flattery and humility. I think I like it."

Keitaro was just glad that he hadn't offended Tsuruko. He let out a relieved sigh.

Haruka, who'd been silently observing the situation, was curious as to what Tsuruko thought about Keitaro. Tsuruko had seen his willingness to help people he cared about, even if it meant that he'd have to marry someone; seen his slightly goofy, yet generally positive outlook on life and now, she'd seen him have a faux pas.

Though luckily, it'd been a verbal one rather than him ending up with his face in her lap or his hands inside her kimono.

Keitaro excused himself and the smoker looked at Tsuruko. "I'm sorry, Tsuruko-san. Motoko never really talked about your family, so we didn't know. Keitaro's normally good about not saying the wrong thing."

"I understand, Haruka-san. Keitaro's not the malicious type, it's just… well, it's been three years since Akira died. I've been feeling lonely and now I think I'm ready for another relationship. However, I'm hardly a prime candidate: a widowed Christmas Cake? Please, even if I wasn't 30, I focused on the sword, rather than the kitchen knife."

"And what about Keitaro? Where does he fit into tonight?"

"After getting to know him, I can't say that I'm not glad that my sister isn't in a relationship with him," the swordswoman admitted, her cheeks acquiring a pink tinge.

"I see," Haruka said before draining her own glass. "You're not planning to use him to get out of any trouble, are you?"

"No," Tsuruko answered truthfully.

"Good," Haruka smiled as Keitaro returned. "Everything alright, Keitaro?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, Tsuruko-san, I didn't mean to cause any offence or distress."

"It's alright, Keitaro. And now, our main courses have arrived."

* * *

Kitsune was tired. She'd spent most of the day with Shinobu. The morning and early afternoon had been taken up with learning the finer points of food shopping, and the rest of the afternoon and early evening was the discussion of recipes and techniques.

The alcohol-loving girl hadn't had to learn this much practical knowledge in some time!

Having brought the lessons to a close, she was in the mood for some fun. A quick check of her finances had ruled out a trip to the liquor store, and she was still a little hesitant to press Keitaro for a few drinks. This left her in the unfortunate situation of needing to find cheap, alcohol-free fun.

"Actually, where is Keitaro?" she pondered aloud. She hadn't seen her landlord since just after breakfast.

Deciding that it was time to unwind, Kitsune left to find her friends. Sauntering down the hallway, the short-haired girl noticed that Naru and Motoko were talking.

"Hey you two," she called out. "Have any of you seen Keitaro lately?"

"Keitaro is out at the moment," Naru answered, a concerned look on her face.

"Oh? Is something wrong?"

"No, he's… well…" the auburn-haired girl trailed off as she tried to express her concerns to her best friend.

Motoko sighed tiredly. "Keitaro is out having dinner with my sister and Haruka-san."

"Keitaro's on a date with two women? My, my," Kitsune teased, knowing full well what effect her words would have on her two friends. "I guess that three's the magic number when it comes to Keitaro's bed…"

Naru scowled. She hadn't thought of it that way until now. Her scowl turned into a blush as her mind went over the logistics of such an encounter.

Motoko shook her head. Her sister was a widow, true, but the man Tsuruko had married had very little in common with Keitaro. "Even though my sister is single, I doubt that's why they're having dinner tonight, Mitsune-sempai."

"Do you know where they're eating?"

The kendoist paused for a moment as she yawned. "Amaterasu's Garden."

"Wait, what? Keitaro is taking a single woman out for dinner to Amaterasu's Garden? And you don't think that they're going to be 'getting close'? Motoko-chan, tell me you're not that naïve. Please, I have to believe that," the ash-blonde replied. "Do you know how expensive that place is?"

"No, but I'd imagine it's not cheap," Motoko answered. "Besides, Aneue selected it, not Keitaro. You know how his tastes run."

Kitsune remained silent for a moment. "If Keitaro isn't taking your sister out, then someone's apologising for something. Amaterasu's Garden makes le Héraut Culinaire look like a ramen stand!"

The swordswoman coughed, surprised by her friend's suggestion. It was the truth, but how could she admit to that? They'd all ask why her sister is treating Keitaro and Haruka to such a meal. Kitsune would show no mercy with her teasing if she found out that she'd lied about being engaged to Keitaro.

"You alright there, Motoko-chan?" asked Naru.

"Yes, just a little more tired than I thought. I think I'll get an early night," Motoko said, rising to her feet. "I shall see you both in the morning."

"Night," Kitsune nodded. When they were alone, she looked at Naru. "There is another explanation. For why Keitaro, Haruka-san and Tsuruko-san are out together, you know."

"Well, I thought that too," the Toudai-bound girl admitted. "The only thing I could see was that Haruka-san was planning to inherit the Inn instead of Keitaro and splitting the money with Tsuruko-san."

"How would they do that?"

"By removing Keitaro…"

The ash-blonde laughed. "Haruka-san killing Keitaro? Please, she cares too much about Keitaro to for that. Besides, if she asked Keitaro for something, he'd give it to her without hesitating."

"I suppose so," Naru conceded. There was a moment's silence between the two friends. "What were you thinking of?"

"Well, it's something along the lines of what you were thinking, only less death and more… you know; older single women, no hope of catching a man…"

Naru looked a little blank.

"I guess you don't know. Two women feel they can't get a man, so what they do is find someone else in their position, who understands how they feel…" Kitsune trailed off, hoping her friend would connect the dots. She sighed when Naru failed to pick up her subtle hint.

"For the love of… Basically, they become lesbians, Naru-chan. Geez, since when did you become this dense?"

* * *

To be continued…

Pre-read by Chi Vayne and previewed on various intertubes.

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter for dull and infrequent updates.


	6. Chapter 5

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: There are no pies at the Nou Camp.

* * *

Chapter 5

* * *

The meal Tsuruko had treated Keitaro and Haruka to had been delicious, but expensive. Keitaro had seen the look on Haruka's face when she'd seen the total for the bill.

When he'd tried to get a look at the figure, Tsuruko had waved him off.

"I told you, Keitaro-san, this was an apology for my sister's behaviour earlier."

"But still-" The ronin's protests were cut off by Haruka.

"If you still insist on paying for something, Keitaro, you could buy us a drink."

"Ok, it's the least I can do for you."

"Then shall we move on?" the swordswoman asked with a smile on her face.

* * *

Back at the Inn, Naru was questioning Kitsune's logic.

"I hate the concept of the 'Christmas Cake' as much as the next woman, but that still doesn't mean that just because most men aren't interested in them, they're going to become lesbian lovers, Kitsune-chan!" the auburn-haired girl insisted.

"Oh, and what do you know about adult relationships, Naru-chan?" Kitsune asked. "You can't seem to get beyond the childish 'hitting the boy you like' stage."

"That's not true!" Naru insisted.

"Oh really, do you like Keitaro?"

"Well… I… err…"

"Then you don't mind if someone else goes out with him?"

"I wouldn't say that…" the Toudai-bound girl said, suddenly finding her fingers rather interesting.

"Not exactly disproving my point, Naru-chan, are you?" Kitsune asked, a triumphant smirk on her face. "Still, you don't just treat someone to a meal in a restaurant like Amaterasu's Garden on a whim."

"Yeah, but unless we can talk to Keitaro, Haruka-san or Tsuruko-san, we're not going to know why they went out."

"Do you think Motoko-chan knows?" the ash-blonde wondered aloud.

"She might, but she's gone to bed," Naru added. She yawned herself. "Speaking of which, I think I might get an early night, too."

"Ok, see you tomorrow."

As she sat alone, Kitsune started to have a serious think about why Haruka, Keitaro and Tsuruko would be out together at a fancy restaurant. She hadn't picked up any hint that Haruka was a lesbian, but what did she know much about Tsuruko?

Tsuruko was Motoko's older sister, she'd been married and she was someone who intimidated Motoko.

It was hardly enough information to fill out a personality profile.

Besides, Tsuruko and Haruka were grown women. If they wanted to have such a relationship, it was their business and no-one else's. But if they were having such a relationship, why would they bring Keitaro along?

What purpose would they have for bringing him along? There were other places in Tokyo for them to get to know each other better; places that didn't require a dress code and a small fortune to settle the bill.

So unless Tsuruko was asking for Keitaro's permission to date Haruka, that wasn't the reason for their dinner date.

The next possibility was that it was an apology for something. But this was the first time Tsuruko had come to visit Motoko at the Inn, at least as far as Kitsune knew. So what could Tsuruko be apologising for?

Well, perhaps it was something Motoko had done? But Keitaro never held a grudge against anyone; in fact he'd started to smile at her again, despite the lies about blackmail!

Naru's suggestion that Tsuruko and Haruka were planning to kill Keitaro and split his inheritance was just so unlikely, it was laughable. Sure, Haruka smacked Keitaro around the head when he accidentally called her "Aunt Haruka", but it wasn't even close to being in the same league of violence that Naru and Motoko had unleashed upon him.

That brought her to the final option: Tsuruko was interested in Keitaro. If Tsuruko was indeed single, why invite Haruka along? Keitaro wouldn't have tried anything improper with Tsuruko, and if he did, Motoko's tales of her sister's martial prowess would have quickly put a stop to things.

The only reason to invite Haruka along was to have an omiai in the restaurant.

And now that she thought about it, Kitsune had recalled that Haruka thought that Keitaro was good husband material.

But all evidence pointed to today being the first time that Keitaro and Tsuruko had met. So that didn't make much sense to her.

Not that love ever made much sense to her. Some of the boyfriends her school friends had gone out with were proof enough of that.

Kitsune let out a loud yawn. Maybe there just wasn't an ulterior motive? There were people who took their friends out to dinner, after all. Not everyone had an agenda.

* * *

Keitaro was trying to keep a respectful distance from Haruka and Tsuruko as they rode on the train. He thought that they were both attractive women, but felt that he'd been riding his luck all evening. Experience had taught him that an incident was going to happen sooner or later. Luckily, nothing had happened in Amaterasu's Garden – he'd even managed to keep his shirt clean.

No, something was going to happen soon, he could feel it in his gut.

That was why he kept both of his hands on the handle, in plain sight of his two companions.

The train pulled into the station, catching Haruka unprepared. She ended up leaning against Keitaro.

"Oh, sorry about that, Keitaro," she said. She looked down, and saw where he'd caught her. 'If only his hand was just a little higher…'

Tsuruko, under the influence of the wine, looked on, feeling slightly envious. It had been a long time since she'd last been held by a man. The fact that it wasn't their stop put an idea in her head.

As the swordswoman watched Haruka right herself and smile at Keitaro, she repositioned herself so that she could fall against Keitaro the next time the train stopped.

'Maybe this time, his hand might catch him a bonus…'

* * *

Lying on her bed, Motoko was thinking about her sister's evening out with Keitaro and Haruka.

While at first glance it seemed unfair that she was being ignored, she understood her sister's decision to leave her at home. It was something that she might have done in Tsuruko's place.

In her defence, she hadn't meant to lie to her sister, it sort of just happened. A bit like how Kitsune's situation had resulted in her sitting on Keitaro while wearing nothing but an open kimono.

But her mind kept going over why Tsuruko would take Haruka and Keitaro out to a restaurant as fancy as Amaterasu's Garden.

The Tokyo metropolitan area was hardly lacking in eateries, so it wasn't a dearth of alternative options. Almost all of these alternates were cheaper, too, which fitted right in with Keitaro's modest tastes.

So it was either the simple fact that she was friends with the manager or it was an ulterior motive that made Tsuruko decide on Amaterasu's Garden.

While Tsuruko was capable of terrible acts, she wasn't the sort of person to concoct elaborate plans as part of a punishment or revenge.

Motoko let out a soft chuckle. "I guess that it's really just a case of the simplest answer being the case."

* * *

As the train pulled into the next stop, Keitaro was surprised to find himself somehow cushioning Tsuruko Aoyama from a fall.

"Oh, sorry, Keitaro-san," the swordswoman apologised. "I'm not normally this clumsy."

Haruka sighed softly. She could see what Tsuruko was doing, and she couldn't blame her for it. The thought of Keitaro holding her in his arms was becoming increasingly appealing. She glanced down to see that Keitaro's left hand was barely two centimetres above Tsuruko's butt.

"Perhaps we should skip the drinks if some of us are a little unsteady?" the smoker suggested as Tsuruko woman righted herself. "It has been a long day, after all."

"Yeah, I'm a little tired," Keitaro agreed.

"Yes, perhaps it's for the best," Tsuruko nodded.

The next stop was the one for the Hinata Sou, and the trio disembarked. The two women cast glances at Keitaro's backside, idly wondering if how much they'd enjoy giving it a quick squeeze.

It was then that Tsuruko made a decision. She liked Keitaro enough that she was going to pursue him, etiquette be damned!

As they exited the station, Tsuruko gave Haruka a look that the smoker couldn't decipher. Was she seeking approval? Was it a challenge? An invitation?

Haruka looked away, coughing to compose herself. "Anyway, let's get going."

* * *

Over the last few days, Kitsune had spent a fair amount of time thinking about her situation at the Hinata Sou. If she had just lost her job, things would be ok in that she could probably put off paying the rent until she got a new job. If she still had a job, she was sure that she'd be able to work out a payment plan with Keitaro for the rent arrears.

However, the fact of the matter was that she had no income and rent arrears of three months. Fortunately, Keitaro had agreed to let her stay rent free until she found another job if she helped with the cooking and cleaning.

It had been a second choice option, one that she had found forced upon her.

The first option was that Kitsune got married to Keitaro in order to avoid paying any more rent or board. It had started off sensibly enough, but in order to speed things up, a series of lies had been told and Keitaro had seen through them a lot sooner than she'd expected.

But why pick Keitaro? There were plenty of rich men in Tokyo; she could have been a kept woman.

But would she have accepted being the mistress of an older businessman?

No, she definitely didn't want to be touched by a balding Salaryman in the stationery cupboard after working hours. Older men were… well, she couldn't say that they were creepy or uninteresting as she did have a crush on an older man when she was younger.

"Seta…" the ash-blonde said as she looked up at her ceiling. 'There's a name I haven't thought about for a while.'

Seta Noriyasu: archaeologist, terrible driver, unreliable and former boyfriend of Haruka Urashima.

Why had she been attracted to him? She had no interest in old bones and broken pottery, and he'd often stated that he wasn't in it for the ancient treasures.

He had a car, well a van, but so did Kentaro. That was another name she hadn't thought about for a while.

Kitsune quickly returned her attention to the reason for her crush on Seta. His unreliable nature had been the reason why Haruka had broken it off with him and Haruka was pretty forgiving.

She smiled, thinking about all the good times she'd had with Haruka: a few practical jokes and some serious teasing of their other friends. Kitsune did look up to Haruka; the smoker was so much more worldly, sophisticated and independent after all.

It was then that Kitsune's eyes opened wide.

"Did…did I like Seta because Haruka did?"

Sure, she'd joked about finding where Haruka's soft spot for Keitaro was, but that didn't mean she wanted to sleep with her. Did it?

Well, maybe a few years ago, when Haruka and Seta were dating, it might have. But that was just a combination of a girl's hero worship and a girl-crush. It was a phase, part of growing up.

But the ash-blonde's mind flitted back to how forgiving the smoker was. A few slaps and stern words had cut short the teasing and games, but Haruka had always gone along with them until she felt that they had stopped being funny.

If Haruka hadn't liked it, she would have told her not to do it again; just like how she'd broken it off with Seta and how she'd told Su not to take parts from her fridge without telling her.

"Hang on," Kitsune closed her eyes tightly as she tried to recall the first discussion about the marriage plan with Haruka. "Didn't Haruka-san sound a bit different when she mentioned getting married to Keitaro?"

Now that she thought about it, Kitsune was beginning to be convinced that Haruka had certain feelings with regards to Keitaro. Feelings that hinted that there could have been company in the bedroom if cards had been played right.

"Crap… if only I'd told Haruka-san earlier, I could have made this work. And then I could have found out about Keitaro's job…"

* * *

The trio of diners were approaching Haruka's teashop.

"I… don't think I can make it up the hill. Forgive me, but could I possibly use your toilet, Haruka-san?" Tsuruko asked with a look of concentration on her face.

"Of course," the smoker nodded as she pulled out her keys. She unlocked the door and added, "Up the stairs, first door on the left."

"Thank you."

When they were alone, Haruka turned to Keitaro. "Keitaro, I think there's something you should know."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I don't know if you picked up on it earlier, but Tsuruko-san likes you."

"Well, she did take us out to dinner," Keitaro shrugged.

"Treating someone to dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in Tokyo is not something you do if you're feeling ambivalent about them," Haruka countered.

"Well, she said it was an apology for Motoko-chan," the ronin insisted. "Besides why should she be interested in someone like me?"

"You're a likeable person, Keitaro."

"Obviously not that likeable – I've never had a girlfriend."

"You would have if things had been different," Haruka muttered. She looked Keitaro in the eye. "So you don't like Tsuruko-san? Is that what you're saying?"

"That's not it, Haruka-san. She's a beautiful woman of wealth and taste, I'll bet that she needs her sword to keep all the men who are interested in her away," Keitaro said in his usual earnest tone. "She deserves someone better than me."

"What if she doesn't want better? What if she wants you?" the smoker countered. "What then? Are you going to hurt her feelings by rejecting her?"

The ronin sighed. He realised he was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

He didn't want to hurt anyone, least of all someone who he was sure could cut him into sashimi in the blink of an eye, but the way things happened around him. He was sure that he was going to hurt Tsuruko more if she was in a relationship with him.

"Or are you suggesting that women who like you have bad taste?"

Keitaro blinked. Women liked him? "Who else likes me?"

Haruka shook her head. "Sometimes, you don't see the wood for the trees, Keitaro."

The bespectacled Urashima considered those words. Sure, Shinobu liked him, but that was like the time he lusted after that idol singer when he was 13. It was just a teenager's crush, nothing more. Not to mention what would have happened if he did take things further with Shinobu…

Motoko's opinion of him had been raised to the point where she'd lied about being engaged to him. That wouldn't have happened when he first arrived, but it was far from the point where they could be dating.

Kaolla Su was Kaolla Su, who knew what she was really thinking.

Naru couldn't seem to make her mind up.

Mutsumi was a sweet girl, but she seemed to love everybody.

That left Kitsune. Kitsune was a difficult subject at the moment. Sure, she was very attractive and she was smart and fun, but she had also lied to him. It meant that he couldn't be sure what to trust about her any more.

As Keitaro scratched his head, thinking about the situation and who could be interested in him, Tsuruko returned.

"That's much better, thank you, Haruka-san," the swordswoman smiled, clearly more relaxed. "I apologise for imposing on you further, Keitaro-san, but would it be all right if I stayed for another night or two?"

"Yes, of course, but can I ask why?"

"It feels slightly embarrassing to say it like this, but I'd like to get to know my sister's friends better. The way she described them in her letters made them sound rather interesting, however I can't take her opinion entirely seriously after the less than complimentary way she portrayed you," Tsuruko explained. "I've only known you for a few hours, but you're not the monstrous creature that I was led to expect."

Keitaro laughed nervously.

"Yes, Motoko's attitudes towards men has clouded her judgement on more than one occasion," Haruka nodded. "What did you have in mind, Tsuruko-san?"

"Something similar to this evening, only a little more informal; a meal at the Inn with everyone there," the swordswoman replied. She bowed her head apologetically. "I apologise for the assumption that you would agree to provide a large meal on such short notice. There are limits to what a guest can expect from a host."

"True, but if you're willing to help with the grocery bill and wine list, I think it'll be ok, don't you, Keitaro?" the smoker asked.

"Of course, I'll let the others know in the morning," Keitaro nodded happily. "Are you ready to head back? It's getting late and I don't want to disturb the others."

"Thank you, Keitaro-san, I appreciate your kindness," Tsuruko smiled as she prepared to finish climbing the hill.

* * *

After returning to the Inn, Keitaro walked Tsuruko to Motoko's room.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't have enough time to get you your own room organised, Tsuruko-san."

"It's alright, Keitaro-san. I'm sure that my sister won't be too put out with me sleeping in her room," the swordswoman smiled. "If she does, well I could always s-"

The door to Motoko's room opened and a sleepy, but concerned looking face appeared.

"Aneue, you're back."

"Yes, and I'm staying for another couple of days, Motoko-han," Tsuruko calmly informed her. "That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

"N-no…"

"Good," the older sister smiled. She turned to face Keitaro. "Thank you for the pleasant evening, Keitaro-san. I look forward to tomorrow evening, where I will finally get the chance to properly get to know everyone."

"T-tomorrow evening?" Motoko repeated. "But that's…"

"But that's what, Motoko?" Keitaro asked.

"We… well, Naru-sempai, Shinobu-chan, Su and I were going to visit Kobe tomorrow. We were going to be gone for a few days."

"That's tomorrow?" the ronin asked. "That's come around quick."

"Yes."

"If you don't mind my asking, what attracts you to Kobe, Motoko-han?"

"Shinobu-chan and Su have a project for their history class, and Naru-sempai said that she wanted to do some shopping," Motoko explained.

"Oh, I see," the older sister nodded. 'It might work out better this way…' "Well, I shall see you off tomorrow, but I might have to leave for home before you and your friends return. But I will get to know them, Motoko-han, you can't hide them from me forever, you know!"

"I'm not trying to hide from you, Aneue, it's, well, it's just unfortunate timing, that's all."

Tsuruko caught her sister's slip of the tongue, but said nothing. "These things happened, Motoko-han, you shouldn't worry about it."

"Well, I shall let you two get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning, Tsuruko-san, Motoko-chan."

"Good night, Keitaro-san."

"Good night, Keitaro."

* * *

Kitsune heard footsteps approaching.

'That's probably Keitaro,' she mused. 'I wonder how his evening went…'

The idea of confirming that it was Keitaro and checking up on him was tempting, but she was already in bed.

Her warm and comfortable bed.

'No, I don't need to know that badly,' she thought with a yawn. 'Besides, I've got to do the laundry tomorrow while Shinobu's in Kobe.'

* * *

Tsuruko watched her sister and friends leave for the train station. There had been a brief introduction at breakfast, but the need for a quick departure had prevented a proper chance to get to know each other.

'It is a shame,' the widow thought sadly, 'Motoko-han's friends seem nice.'

She turned her attention to Kitsune, who had just started to hang a basket of fresh laundry out to dry. The ash-blonde's technique caused Tsuruko to realise something. 'She's not used to chores. Motoko-han's description of Konno-san was of someone playful and slovenly. What's made her change?'

A glum looking Keitaro emerged from his room.

"Is something the matter, Keitaro-san?"

"My part time job isn't going as well as it was," the ronin admitted.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Tsuruko asked.

Keitaro shrugged. "I don't know…"

"Despite what Motoko-han might have told you, I can be a very sympathetic person."

"I appreciate the offer, but I've got to get through this myself. I don't want the others to know what I do."

The swordswoman was intrigued. Motoko had mentioned that Keitaro had a second job, but she didn't have any details to share.

Kitsune had finished hanging out the laundry and approached the two. "Is something wrong, Keitaro? You're looking a bit down."

"It's nothing, I'm just having a bit of difficulty with my job," Keitaro answered. He looked around, clearly uncomfortable with discussing the situation.

"You know, you never really told us about your job…" the short-haired girl teased. "Perhaps we could help you?"

"I don't know," the ronin said. "I'm going to the kitchen, do either of you want a drink?"

"Please could I have some tea, Keitaro-san?" the swordswoman asked politely.

"If you're putting the kettle on, I'll have some tea, too," Kitsune smiled.

As Keitaro left earshot, Tsuruko turned to Kitsune. "What do you know about Keitaro-san's job, Konno-san?"

"Please, call me 'Kitsune'," the ash-blonde insisted. "As for Keitaro's job, well, we know it's some kind of writing gig. He uses a pseudonym, but that's about it. He must have some reason for keeping it a secret, but…"

"It would be rude to dig deeper," the swordswoman nodded, not quite getting the exact reason for Kitsune's discretion. "But still, you must be curious as to what he does?"

"It wasn't so bad at first," Kitsune replied.

"But?"

"But a few weeks ago, curiosity did start to get the better of us. We haven't ransacked his room or anything, but we did ask a few questions. That's how we found out about his pseudonym. 'Biggun', I think."

"Interesting name," Tsuruko commented. "I don't suppose you think Keitaro-san is some sort of manga artist, do you?"

"It's possible, I guess, but he hasn't got the time to do it full time. He's trying to get into Toudai."

* * *

Sighing as he put the kettle on, Keitaro couldn't shake the feeling that things were going to change very soon.

His run of inspiration had been good, but the reception to his latest idea hadn't been quite what he had expected: despite the usual favourable reaction to his art style, the editorial staff did not like the story.

They had felt it a step down from his usual standard, that it was lacking something.

"Maybe I've just run out of writing talent?" he asked with a rhetorical sigh. "Just as well, I don't know how I managed to keep everyone from finding out for this long."

"Finding what out, Keitaro?" Kitsune asked as she entered the kitchen with Tsuruko beside her.

"Nothing, I'm just being silly," the ronin insisted.

"It's clear that something is bothering you, Keitaro-san," Tsuruko said firmly. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"Not really," Keitaro said, his discomfort becoming clear as day.

"Oh, don't be like that, Keitaro," the ash-blonde pouted. "We might get the idea that you don't like us…"

The artist closed his eyes and shook his head. "If you really want to know, I've had something rejected at my job. And if I don't get something to replace it, I'm in danger of being reassigned."

"Reassigned to what, Keitaro-san?"

"I… it's hard to say without telling you all the details," Keitaro replied.

"Then tell us the details, Keitaro," Kitsune smiled.

"I can't do that, Kitsune."

The sound of the kettle boiling cut off the discussion for the moment. After filling the teapot, Keitaro looked up to see that the two women standing not two metres away from him were still looking for answers.

"Why can't you tell us the details, Keitaro?" Kitsune demanded. "You already said that it's nothing illegal that you're doing; so why all the secrecy?"

"Because I know what you'll say and do if you knew," Keitaro shot back. "You'd tease me and Naru and Motoko would get the wrong idea and try to hurt me."

"What about me, Keitaro-san?" Tsuruko asked. "What do you think I would say or do if I was to find out?"

"You'd also misunderstand things, Tsuruko-san."

"Perhaps if you were to explain things, then I, we, might be able to help you. Or at least, not get the wrong end of the stick," the swordswoman smiled.

"But…" Keitaro sighed. "Fine, if you promise not to tell anyone, I'll tell you what my job is."

"I give you my word that I will not tell anyone, Keitaro-san."

"My lips are sealed, Keitaro."

The ronin took a deep breath. "I don't know if you know, but I like to draw a bit when I was younger. Someone decided that I was good enough to draw things professionally.

"And because of this, I used to draw for a writing team. The team broke up some years ago. I don't know the details, I was just a kid and when they said that I wasn't going to be drawing those stories, I didn't ask. To be honest, it was a little weird for me to be illustrating those stories."

"Who did you draw for, Keitaro-san?"

"A writing team called 'Red Dragon'. I wasn't the only artist, and I only did one or two volumes in their anthology series."

"Red Dragon… the name doesn't ring a bell," Kitsune mused. "So what did you draw for them?"

"This is why I asked for your promise not to tell anyone," Keitaro said as he poured three cups of tea. "I illustrated a volume of 'Tales of Ribaldry'. I also contributed a story and the artwork for a couple of stories in another of the publisher's magazines."

Tsuruko blinked. "I'm sorry, Keitaro-san, but 'Tales of Ribaldry' sounds like it's an adults-only publication."

Keitaro laughed nervously. "Yeah…"

Kitsune giggled. "I guess Naru-chan was right when she said you were a pervert, Keitaro…"

"It's not what you think, Kitsune, I mean that was before I came here to the Inn."

"So what is the problem with your current job, Keitaro-san?"

"Part of my job now includes writing and illustrating my own stories. My last submission didn't go down well," the ronin explained. "I'd worked really hard on it, but the editors felt it was "a bit too much like a Comiket doujin" and rejected it."

"Why did they say that?" Tsuruko asked.

"I took what I thought were romantic comedy tropes and tried something original," Keitaro answered. "However, it was decided that I was just writing a parody of some popular titles. I was, sort of, but obviously I made the characters too unrelatable."

"Oh, but still, I'm sure that you'll come up with something else that they'll like, Keitaro-san," the swordswoman smiled reassuringly.

"I have two weeks to give them a proof-read draft of a 20 page manga story and I don't know what to write."

"Two weeks? That's a little bit harsh, isn't it?" Kitsune asked.

"I had the rejection note two weeks ago, but then certain events happened which distracted me," the artist said, handing over two cups of tea.

"Ah…" the ash-blonde said, knowing full well what Keitaro meant by that.

It wasn't like Kitsune had wanted to sabotage Keitaro's career, in fact she had no idea about this rejection. It was just that her own situation had started to go horribly wrong at the same time. Keitaro would still have a place to stay and there would be food in his belly.

The same couldn't have been said for Kitsune.

"What was the last story of yours that had been well received?" Tsuruko asked. "Perhaps you could go back to something along those lines?"

"Freeter Deluxe? I suppose, but I don't like retreading old stories. Besides, it's not like I've ever come up with something like Journey to the West that can be told and retold in all sorts of settings," Keitaro replied. "So, now you know why I'm feeling a bit down."

The trio drank their tea in silence for several minutes before Keitaro started to notice Tsuruko's body language.

He had been too nervous to pay attention to it last night, but he was starting to get an inkling as to what she liked and what she was looking for in a man.

"Is something the matter, Keitaro-san?" the widow asked after she realised that she was being casually, but closely observed.

"I… Sorry, Tsuruko-san, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, I just…" the ronin took a deep breath. "I tend to notice certain things about people. Sometimes, I can get a feel for what they like. Sometimes it takes a while to realise what it is, but sometimes I can get a handle on things pretty quickly."

"Oh, really? And what does this gut instinct of yours tell you about me?"

"Promise you won't hit me?"

"I promise I will not hit you, Keitaro-san," Tsuruko said solemnly.

"Variety and adaptability," Keitaro said, shying away to avoid righteous wrath.

"What is that supposed to mean, Keitaro?" Kitsune asked. "Variety and adaptability are words you'd use to describe an actor."

The artist took a deep breath. "What I mean by that is that I have this feeling that Tsuruko-san is willing to try a variety of things and that can mean adapting to different roles."

"What sort of role might I be willing to adapt to, Keitaro-san?"

"Remember that you promised not to hit me, but things like the traditionally male role of initiator."

* * *

To be continued…

Pre-read by Chi Vayne, previewed on various intertubes.

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter, you should be able to work out my username.


	7. Chapter 6

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Suffer not the mutant, unless they've got something to offer, that is. Like shovel-hands or beer-bottle opening belly buttons. Or free standing genitalia.

* * *

Part 6

* * *

Tsuruko Aoyama sat in silence as she considered the words Keitaro had spoken.

He was right, but how could he know that she was, well, not quite desperate, but certainly willing to try almost anything to keep a suitable man?

She certainly hadn't mentioned what she was looking for in a man, only that there were certain aspects of Keitaro that reminded her of Akira.

Kitsune was also impressed with Keitaro's ability to read desires and sexual tastes. 'He's only known Tsuruko-san for a few hours. Somehow I doubt Tsuruko-san is the sort to discuss bedroom behaviour at a place like Amaterasu's Garden. I know Haruka isn't.'

Keitaro was beginning to feel uncomfortable at the silence. 'Crap, I've upset Tsuruko-san.'

"What else have you written, Keitaro-san?" Tsuruko asked, changing the topic. "I mean the stories that were well received."

"I think Miko-Miko Revolution and Freeter Deluxe were the most popular."

The widow followed up. "What were they about?"

"Miko-Miko was about a shrine maiden who finds her life turned upside down by the arrival of ronin," Keitaro answered, his cheeks turning red.

Kitsune chuckled, clearly seeing where the inspiration had come from. Then, realisation struck her. 'I've been classed as a Freeter…'

"I see," Tsuruko nodded in understanding. 'Keitaro-san's been using his life with his friends here as inspiration for his stories. But if he feels that he's run out of inspiration, maybe I could help him out?'

Before Keitaro could stammer out an apology, the swordswoman spoke up. "Keitaro-san, about your rejected story; what was different about it from your more successful work?"

"What?" the ronin asked, taken aback by this unexpected attitude. He'd been bracing himself to a torrent of accusations and violence; not what appeared to be support.

Kitsune was also surprised by Tsuruko's question. She had felt a little betrayed by the way Keitaro had used her and Motoko for inspiration, but couldn't really complain, given her own precarious situation.

'Though, perhaps I could use Keitaro's job as an alternative to doing the chores?'

"I mean that there must have been something in Miko-Miko Revolution and Freeter Deluxe that is missing from your new idea. Or perhaps your new idea has something in it that your editorial staff feels disrupts the story in some way?" Tsuruko clarified.

"Oh," the ronin replied before taking a sip of his tea. "Well, I guess that the new story has a different focus. I mean, the main character is a young man, rather than a young woman, like my more successful work. I don't know why, but Hajime, the main character, just doesn't have the same appeal as the others I wrote about."

"Perhaps you made him too generic, too much of an everyman?" Kitsune suggested. "Maybe your editors feel the blank canvas approach doesn't always work?"

"That makes sense," Keitaro nodded. "I don't think that I'm going to be able to rewrite everything in time for the deadline though."

Tsuruko looked surprised by this. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's not as easy as 'find and replace'; you need to change how people interact," the artist replied. He wet his lips with tea before explaining further. "For example, when I first met your sister, I know that she would have treated me differently if I was a martial artist who regularly placed in the local tournaments. I'm not saying she would have fallen in love with me, but she would have seen me in a different light because I'm a skilled martial artist.

"Maybe she's willing to help me with training? Maybe she develops a crush on me? Maybe she's threatened because there's a man who's skilled at fighting under the same roof? But let's say, for the sake of argument, that Motoko's attitude to me was positive; a mutual respect because of the effort we both put in.

"Because of this, she would be more understanding about my attempts to get into Toudai; she sees that I'm juggling a time consuming interest, a promise and my academic studies. This positive attitude is transmitted to the other residents, and instead of the hostility I faced when I first arrived, I'm made welcome and I'm able to enter Toudai on my next attempt. Quite the difference, don't you think?"

"Yes, a marked difference," Tsuruko nodded.

"Hostility?" Kitsune repeated. The look she received from Keitaro made her follow up question of 'that's a bit harsh, isn't it?' seem a little foolish. "You do have a point, Keitaro. So, what will you do now?"

"I don't know, Kitsune, I've got a couple of other ideas that I could work on, but I'd spent quite some time on this. It seems a shame to just abandon it. Do you know what I mean?"

'I think I do, Keitaro-san, I think I do,' the swordswoman thought with a smile.

* * *

Kitsune decided that she needed to talk to a friend about what she had learned that morning. Someone mature and responsible, so that ruled out Naru and Motoko, even if they weren't on their way to Kobe.

No, that left Haruka as the only option.

"Haruka-san," she said, waiting for an opportune moment to strike.

"What is it, Kitsune?"

"I found out about Keitaro's part time job."

"Oh?" Haruka asked, looking at her friend quizzically.

"It turns out that Keitaro has got some artistic skills that's he's putting to good use," the ash-blonde explained.

"So he's drawing again?"

"Yeah," Kitsune nodded. "Wait, 'again'? You know about what Keitaro's been drawing?"

"You seem shocked, Kitsune," the smoker smirked before explaining. "Of course I know, I'm family and I get on well with Keitaro."

"Well, why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"What do you think Naru and Motoko would have done if they knew about Keitaro's work? They'd still be cleaning the blood off the walls."

Kitsune winced. Keitaro was a likeable enough person, but his accidents and unfortunate timing often infuriated her friends. The knowledge that Keitaro drew pictures and wrote stories of an erotic nature would have pushed them over the edge.

"So, what do I do about this?"

"If you're planning to blackmail Keitaro into letting you stay for free, you can forget it. Like I just said, Keitaro is family. You've caused him enough of a headache lately, so if you do try anything, I will have to take desperate measures…" Haruka trailed off for effect.

"I'm not planning to blackmail Keitaro, Haruka, it's just, well, I was thinking that if I'd known about his job earlier, I could have offered to help in exchange for rent and a few yen, that's all," Kitsune explained.

"Oh. Well, I suppose that could have worked. What help did you have in mind?"

The voluptuous woman casually drew attention to her breasts. "I'm sure that I could come up with something to assist Keitaro…"

"I hate to tell you the bad news, Kitsune, but I'm not sure that Keitaro really needs a model for his artwork."

"W-what? Are you sure about that?"

Haruka smiled knowingly. "Keitaro's work is good enough to be sold professionally; do you really think his women have man-faces and basketballs strapped to their chests?"

"Well, no, but still, maybe I could help inspire him?" Kitsune suggested.

"Inspiration can come from many sources," the smoker agreed, though her expression was one of wistful remembrance rather than true concession.

'What aren't you telling me, Haruka?' the ash-blonde wondered. "Actually, I think I might have been the inspiration for one of his stories."

"I saw some similarities between you and Megumi Kanno from Freeter Deluxe."

"Wait, so you've read Keitaro's work?" Kitsune demanded.

"Who do you think gave him his pen-name?" Haruka smirked.

"Biggun?"

"The full name is 'Ivor Biggun'. It's a pun; in English, 'Ivor Biggun' sounds a little like 'I've a big one' if the speaker has a certain accent," the smoker explained.

A thought occurred to Kitsune. "A big what? Is Keitaro… you know?"

"Yes, in fact, Keitaro has half a dozen two-metre long prehensile penises. You don't forget an encounter with tentacles, I can tell you!"

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Hey look, Buzz, there's an alien!" Haruka deadpanned. "You're the one who sleeps in the room next to him, Kitsune; you would have a better idea than me."

"You make it sound like I should be sneaking into his room to peep on him when he's naked, Haruka," Kitsune replied.

"If you had been peeping on him, you could have used it as part of your scheme to get out of paying the rent," the spinster said as a casual aside. "Keitaro doesn't pick up on subtle hints, so catching you in the act would have shown him that you liked him."

* * *

Tsuruko knocked on the door to Keitaro's room.

"Come in," the ronin said.

"Keitaro-san, there's something I wanted to ask you," the swordswoman said as she approached where the young man was seated.

"Oh?" Keitaro asked. He looked up and noticed that the normally calm and collected woman seemed to have a pink tinge to her cheeks. "Is everything alright, Tsuruko-san?"

"I'm fine," Tsuruko insisted as she took up a place opposite her host. She cleared her throat. "Err, Keitaro-san, there is something that I wanted to ask you. I like to see people doing their best, and sometimes people need a little help to bring the best out of them. I'd like to help you with your work."

The ronin was lost for words; especially when Tsuruko followed up with, "I don't suppose you could let me read one of your stories?"

"I…"

"It's just that Kitsune-san seems to think that 'Miko-Miko Revolution' might be interesting."

When it became clear that Tsuruko wasn't going to let the matter drop, Keitaro sighed in defeat. "Ok, but promise me you won't hit me after you've read it?"

"I promise that I shall not hit you after I have read your story, Keitaro-san." Although the widow spoke with a calm, composed voice, she couldn't help but feel attraction towards Keitaro.

"Ok, but you promised!" the artist said as he retrieved a copy of the story from his bookcase and handed it over.

* * *

Tsuruko sat out on the porch, basking in the mid-morning sunshine as she read the story Keitaro had written and illustrated. The first few chapters were setting up the blend of historical fiction and mythology.

It was only with the appearance of the mysterious ronin that things got interesting.

And that was not just because of steamy fantasy Minako indulged in after she saw his fighting prowess.

"Oh my," the swordswoman murmured as she turned page after page of Keitaro's erotic novella.

Before Tsuruko knew it, Keitaro was calling her name to let her know it was lunch time.

"Oh, sorry, Keitaro-san, I got engrossed in your book."

The bespectacled young man laughed nervously.

"I mean, the way you described Motoko's desires…"

"Minako," Keitaro corrected, a drop of sweat trickling down his cheek.

"Please, Keitaro-san, it's clear that my sister was the inspiration for Minako Kageyama and her situation," the widow said, casting a half-lidded gaze at him. "So, how did you get Motoko-han to open up to you?"

"I… What?"

"How did you get my sister to talk to you about her desires? It's clear that you know what makes her excited."

"I never talked to her about it. I mean, what would she do if she found out about my job? It took ages for her to tolerate me as her landlord, she's not going to be the sort of person who opens up about what sort of man she likes," Keitaro replied.

"So how did you find out about the sort of man that my sister likes?" Tsuruko asked, genuinely curious. "Was it your gift?"

"Yes. I-"

"Lunch is ready!" Kitsune called out, interrupting Keitaro.

"Don't worry, Keitaro-san, I'm not going to tell my sister that she was the basis for an erotic novella."

"T-thank you, Tsuruko-san."

Tsuruko smiled as she followed Keitaro to where Kitsune was serving up the meal. "Although, I think that we might have to discuss your characterisation of the older sister, Toriko…"

Keitaro swallowed nervously. "B-but she's only mentioned in passing…"

"I know, but doesn't she deserve her own story?"

The ronin started to sweat profusely. "I…"

"There you are, I'm getting hungry!" Kitsune chided as she handed out the plates of food.

"Sorry, Kitsune, I…"

"It's my fault, Kitsune-san, I was discussing something with Keitaro-san," the widow said as she took her place. "It can wait until after we've eaten."

* * *

Despite the trepidation he felt, Keitaro sat down with Tsuruko in his room to discuss the story he had based upon Motoko.

"Now then, Keitaro-san," the swordswoman said, trying to keep a calm façade in place.

"I'm sorry, Tsuruko-san. I shouldn't have used my friends as inspiration for my stories," the artist said.

"Despite the view of me that my sister has, I am not an unforgiving monster, Keitaro-san. I accept your apology," the swordswoman smiled as she handed over the copy of Miko-Miko Revolution.

Keitaro visibly relaxed.

It was then that Tsuruko added a caveat. "I want you to write a story for me."

"What?"

"I like your style, Keitaro-san."

Keitaro was taken aback. "You like my writing style?"

"Amongst other things, yes," the raven-haired woman nodded. "I must confess that there are things about you that I find attractive."

"Wait, what? You do? How could I possibly be attractive to you, Tsuruko-san?" the ronin asked in disbelief. "I mean you're you: you're beautiful, you've got money, influence. What could you see in me?"

"Your humility, your sense of humour; don't think that I didn't pick up on that in your story, Keitaro-san," Tsuruko smiled. "And I can't forget your kind nature. Despite what Motoko-han tried to pull, you were willing to help her."

"What else was I suppose to do?"

There was a knock on the door which interrupted Tsuruko's answer.

"Come in," Keitaro said.

"Hi there," Kitsune smiled. The smile froze when she saw that Tsuruko was sitting opposite Keitaro. "Ah…"

"What can I do for you, Kitsune?"

"I… It can wait, it's not important," the short-haired girl said, not really wanting others to know that she was after a closer look at Keitaro's work.

Kitsune left as quickly as she arrived, leaving Tsuruko to realise that she needed to act quickly if she wanted to progress things with Keitaro.

She coughed to get Keitaro's attention. "About that story, Keitaro-san."

"Well, I'd love to write you something, but I haven't had any good ideas lately, Tsuruko-san," the artist protested. "All the ones I've suggested to my publisher were rejected."

"Maybe I can help you find some inspiration?"

"How?"

"Well, you've already used my sister for the inspiration for one story, why can't I be the inspiration for another?"

The ronin swallowed. "W-what kind of thing did you have in mind?"

Tsuruko reached out and touched Keitaro's hand. "Let's have a look at your ideas and see what we can develop?"

* * *

Kitsune, feeling at a loose end, decided to visit her friend.

"What's up now, Kitsune?" Haruka Urashima asked, not looking up from her newspaper.

"How did…?"

"Because something's bothering you about Keitaro," the smoker answered, still not giving the ash-blonde her full attention. "Odds are that it's his job."

"Well, it is, but it's not just that. Did you know that he was talking with Tsuruko-san in his room?" Kitsune asked.

"No, but I'm not shaken to my foundations."

"Why not?"

"Because it became clear last night that Tsuruko-san likes Keitaro," Haruka explained, finally looking at Kitsune. "There's no need to look that shocked, Kitsune. Keitaro may not be an 'alpha male' compared to some of the men you've met, but he does have desirable qualities that they lack. Things like a sense of responsibility, a work ethic, creative talent."

"Oh, but, still," the short-haired girl shrugged.

"But nothing, Kitsune, if you had come to me sooner, you could have grown to see Keitaro in the same light that Tsuruko does. He would've sweat blood for you, you know?"

Kitsune blinked. "Perhaps I was a bit hasty?"

"Perhaps," the smoker said before reaching for her cup of coffee. "But it may be too late for you, Kitsune."

"I don't hear the final bell, Haruka, so I'm still in with a chance!"

Haruka cast a critical look over her friend. Kitsune was cute, there was no denying that. And she did have a fine body; Keitaro would have enjoyed spending hours drawing it.

She was also fun. Some of the stories Kitsune told were hilarious. There was some doubt over their veracity, but they were almost always amusing.

But she was also somewhat immature; as she had showed with her inability to handle money. Sure, she had an adult's body and she was of the age of majority, but it took more than that to be an adult. A bit of responsibility wouldn't have gone amiss.

'Of course, Kitsune would have claimed that Keitaro was responsible enough for the two of them,' the smoker mused. "Ok, so you're still in with a chance. But you'll have to convince Keitaro that you do have feelings for him, that you're not trying to use him. You don't have a lot of time to do that, if Tsuruko-san is spending time in his room…"

* * *

Tsuruko looked over the ideas that Keitaro had outlined. They weren't bad by any means, but they seemed to lack something.

It took a while, but the swordswoman eventually worked out what was wrong.

"I'm sorry to say this, Keitaro-san, but all these ideas seem rather… generic. There's nothing bad about any of them, but I can't help but feel that they could be used for almost anyone," she explained. Tsuruko could see that Keitaro was looking rather despondent at her assessment. "I found Miko-Miko Revolution interesting because of the characters."

"Oh, but I'm not sure that I can use any of the 'Miko-Miko' characters in these ideas," the artist replied. "It feels a bit forced, if you know what I mean."

Tsuruko nodded. 'Now would be a good time to put yourself forward, Tsuruko.'

The swordswoman coughed to get Keitaro's attention. "Err, Keitaro-san, I may have another option for you."

"You do?"

"Yes," Tsuruko nodded. She swallowed nervously. "I… I could be the inspiration for your story. I might not have had the experiences of some women, but I would like to think that I could help you develop a story."

"A-are you sure about this? I mean, it would mean talking about… you know…" Keitaro trailed off. "I mean, you're a beautiful woman, but I'm not sure that I'm the sort of person you would talk to about this sort of thing."

"I was never really able to talk to anyone about this sort of thing," the widow explained. "In our family, such things were always considered taboo."

"Taboo?" the ronin repeated. "But saying that, it makes sense, I mean, how do you start a conversation about sex? It's not really something that people want to talk about with family members. Somehow I doubt that you and Motoko-chan asked about your parents' wedding night."

"Quite true, Keitaro-san, quite true."

There was a silence as Keitaro looked at some of the notes he'd written down. They were mainly scenarios and the occasional plot outline.

"Wait, a taboo…?" he asked rhetorically. "I just need a character and a taboo to break and I might have an idea I can use."

"I-I don't mind being the basis for your character, Keitaro-san," Tsuruko said, her cheeks turning pink. "A lonely widow has finished mourning. She's still got most of her life ahead of her, but none of the single men in her town show any interest in her: she's not only a 'Christmas Cake', but she's considered 'used goods'."

There was a moment's silence as it became clear that the swordswoman's words were spoken with the voice of experience.

"But then," she followed up, "She encounters a man through family business. This man, despite being more age appropriate for her sister, intrigues the widow. There's something about him that sets him apart from other men, not that the younger sister sees that."

Keitaro nodded as he scribbled down the idea Tsuruko had outlined. "And then what?"

"S-she realises that if she abides by the established etiquette, she'll be alone for a long time. T-that's when she decides to make a move on this younger man."

"Yes, that's good, but a woman asking out a man is hardly the taboo that I'm looking for," the artist said as he continued to jot down the idea. "What if she became obsessed with him? Not like a stalker who just takes photos of him and has a shrine, but she takes serious steps to be near him?"

"Yes, she moves into his apartment block," Tsuruko nodded. "There could be a few accidents, where she walks in on him when he's changing and she likes what she sees."

"But there needs to be a spanner in the works," Keitaro said absently. "It can't be all plain sailing, or the reader won't connect emotionally."

"She could feel that the young man is vulnerable?" the raven-haired woman suggested. "He's an heir to something valuable or important, and she feels protective? That way, there can be gold-digging rivals and concerned relatives?"

"That might just work," the ronin said as he finished writing down the outline. "Wait, this looks familiar, the only thing missing is-"

Keitaro's words were cut off by Tsuruko kissing him on the mouth.

* * *

To be continued…

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter. You should be able to figure out what my user name is.

If I get enough interest from followers, I may start posting snippets for people's enjoyment.


	8. Chapter 7

Art Attack

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Just a little bit better than rubbish.

* * *

Part 7

* * *

To say that Keitaro was surprised by Tsuruko's actions would be putting it mildly.

"T-Tsuruko-san?"

"I-I'm sorry, Keitaro-san, but I couldn't help myself," the widow apologised as she climbed off the surprised young man. "I… this character, she's…"

"How much of you is she based on?" Keitaro asked. The past week's events were making him unsure if this was another case of a woman trying to manipulate him.

"I haven't had any interest from anyone I could consider a suitor, Keitaro-san. While I know I've attracted the attention of one or two students at the Shinmeiryu dojo, I don't need the lustful attentions of hormonal teenage boys, I need the companionship of a good man," Tsuruko explained. "I want you to be that good man."

"But…"

"Please don't reject me, Keitaro."

"I'm not rejecting you, Tsuruko-san. I just don't want you to make a mistake. Besides, how can I measure up to your standards?" Keitaro asked. "What can I offer you as a husband?"

"Why won't you trust my judgement?" the swordswoman asked. "Are you afraid of letting me down?"

"Yes…" the ronin answered in a quiet voice.

"But don't you see that not trying would let me down more?"

Keitaro was at a loss for words. He knew Tsuruko was right, but he still couldn't understand why she would want him of all people. Perhaps it was better to try and fail rather than not know one way or the other?

'Look on the bright side, Keitaro, sleeping with Tsuruko would hardly be a chore, now would it?' the ronin asked himself. He smiled at that thought. "Ok, I will do what I can to be the man you think I am, Tsuruko-san. Just be patient with me, I'm new at this."

"I will be, Keitaro-san, I will be."

* * *

Kitsune knocked on the door to Keitaro's room.

"Come in," a female voice said.

'Wait, is Tsuruko-san in there with Keitaro?' the ash-blonde asked herself as she opened the door.

"Hello, Mitsune-san, is there something we can do for you?" Tsuruko asked as she looked up from the pages of the note pad she was using.

"I…is everything ok? I hadn't heard from you for a while."

"Everything is fine, Kitsune," Keitaro smiled as he stretched his arms above his head. "I've got a good premise for a new idea."

"Let me guess, demon-hunting shrine maidens and dashing ronin?" Kitsune teased with a smirk.

"Not quite," Tsuruko corrected. "We can't show you anything yet, but we'll let you take a look at it when it's ready."

"How very suspicious…" the short-haired woman said in a sceptical tone. "How can I be sure that Keitaro isn't using us as inspiration for his work? I should have a share of the royalties for Freeter Deluxe!"

Keitaro swallowed nervously. Kitsune did have a point; he should compensate her for using her as the basis of the character Megumi Kanno; however, she did owe him over three months of rent.

Not that he could mention it without embarrassing everyone involved.

"And just how much of a share in the royalties do you think you're entitled to, Mitsune-san?" Tsuruko asked, momentarily saving Keitaro's blushes. "Of course, some might think that accepting such a payment would suggest that you are just like this 'Megumi Kanno' character.

"I would like to think that you're not the sort of person who answers the door in a skimpy towel to avoid paying for food deliveries."

Now it was Kitsune's turn to feel the heat. She'd always made sure that her flirting with men had never gone too far and there were limits to how far she was willing to go to put off paying the rent in favour of going out for a few drinks.

The loss of her job was just too much for her to take in after Keitaro had been rather ruthless with his collection of the rent.

"That's not fair, what about Miko-Miko Revolution? Aren't you in the same boat?"

"That's certainly one way of looking at it," the widow acknowledged. "But I do not feel that the Shinmeiryu School has been defamed by a work of fiction."

"Why not?"

"Because Miko-Miko Revolution is clearly a work of fiction," Tsuruko replied. "Yes, it is set in a real part of Japan, and yes, some of the names are eerily similar. But would you really think that it's based upon a famous school of sword fighting?"

"I… well, no, not now you put it that way," Kitsune said, backing down from her apparent demands for money from Keitaro.

"Then I think the matter is settled. Keitaro-san, I think we're done with the script for the first chapter."

"Yeah, I think we should take a break," Keitaro said, letting out a yawn. "Let's get something to eat before I decide if I should start drawing or continue writing."

* * *

Kitsune was not sure just how far behind she was to Tsuruko when it came to winning over Keitaro. She had decided to go for a walk around the Hinata Sou, hoping for inspiration while he finished eating lunch with the swordswoman.

'Probably shouldn't be leaving him alone with her,' she thought to herself. 'Yeah, but what am I supposed to say to Keitaro? Leave the Christmas Cake here and run off to my room for some X-rated fun?'

The ash-blonde gave a small smirk at the idea of Keitaro blushing and stammering as she asked him if he wanted to go to bed with her. Then she realised that Keitaro probably wouldn't get so flustered, given that he'd written at least two erotic novellas.

"He'd probably think that I'm planning something," Kitsune sighed.

Looking up, she found herself facing an unfamiliar door in an unused part of the Inn.

Trying the door, Kitsune found that it was an unlocked room used for storage.

"How long's it been since this place was cleaned?" she asked, noting the thick coating of dust on everything as she scanned the room.

Inside the room, there were boxes of old papers. On the wall were a couple of shelves holding photo albums.

It was then that Kitsune saw what was taking up the majority of the space in the room. There was a rectangular table she guessed to be two metres by one metre, covered in a heavy duty sheet that had taken on a grey hue from all the dust in the room.

Curious as to why there was a table of such dimensions going unused in this part of the Inn, Kitsune gently lifted the sheet to see if there was anything that indicated why it had been placed here in storage.

"Hey, that's a pool table!" she exclaimed. "I haven't played pool in ages. I wonder if it's got a free play option..."

Looking at the sides of the table, Kitsune saw that it was a normal pool table, one that didn't require money for each frame.

"Score."

The ash-blonde looked around for some cues, hoping that there'd be something usable. Under the table, there were two cue cases.

She checked the black boxes and saw that one had split, but there was still one that looked to be in reasonable condition.

"I gotta tell Keitaro about this. Maybe we could start having tournaments?"

* * *

Keitaro was burning through the next chapter of his story. He'd outlined the main characters' stories and the setting, and was now creating a scenario where the heroine, Toriko, was getting to know the male lead, Kou.

Tsuruko was watching Keitaro write. There was a focus on his face that she found endearing, since to her it implied that he was trying his hardest. She'd also been going over the scenes that he'd written for spelling and grammar errors.

'Keitaro's got good grasp of language,' the widow noted. 'I wonder how his tongue...'

Tsuruko blushed as she realised just where that particular thought was heading. 'What am I thinking? Why am I thinking about that? Especially now, while we're alone...'

Keitaro was too engrossed with his writing to notice the change in expression on Tsuruko's face from approval to idle pondering to embarrassment to lustful.

After another five minutes of writing, he started to tap his thumbs as he tried to work out how the next scene should go. He exhaled as he became increasingly frustrated with the minor blockage to his story.

"Is there a problem, Keitaro-san?"

"I can't think about how to Toriko lets Kou know about how she feels. Don't forget that Kou's also shy. It's going to take something for him to get the confidence to talk to her about something other than business."

"She could just tell him how she feels," Tsuruko replied, somewhat knowingly. "I hear the direct approach can work wonders."

Keitaro blinked, then took a deep breath before explaining why he didn't think that would work. "Well, yes, the direct approach of Toriko saying 'we should go out' would solve this, but I can't just write something where they just meet then go to bed together. I tried writing a story that was basically a series of sex scenes and it felt wrong. To me, the difference between porn and erotica is that we care why the characters are having sex in erotica."

"I see," the widow nodded. "So, you want there to be something that leads to Toriko and Kou having sex?"

"Yeah," the ronin agreed. "I'm going to take a break for a few minutes. Feel free to look over what I've got for this scene."

* * *

Keitaro was returning from using the toilet when he encountered Kitsune.

"Ah, Keitaro," the ash-blonde smiled. "There's something I want to ask you."

The ronin was surprised by the amount of cheer in his friend's voice. Earlier, she had seemed taken aback by the presence of Tsuruko in his room and that had visibly unsettled her a little.

"OK, what is it you want, Kitsune?"

"I was thinking about... things, when I found out that there's a pool table in one of the rooms that's being used for storage."

"Pool table?" Keitaro repeated. "I don't remember there ever being a pool table when this was an Inn."

"I'm just as surprised as you. But anyway, how do you feel about bringing it out into the common room? It's big enough for us to play pool in there without breaking anything, and we can use it to practice hand-eye coordination. Go on, it'll be fun."

Keitaro pondered the merits of the pool table. In several foreign TV shows, it had been established that having a pool table was a status symbol and Kitsune was right in that it would allow him to hone his coordination.

"If you keep it clean, we'll trial it. See if people use it more than you clean it."

"You're the best, Keitaro!" Kitsune flattered shamelessly. "When can we move it?"

"I was thinking about waiting until everyone got back, so they could help move it. Pool tables are usually heavy."

Tsuruko emerged from Keitaro's room. "Is everything alright? I was beginning to wonder where you'd gotten to. I read through what you've got, but I can't think of a way to help you at the moment."

"Damn," Keitaro winced. "I've done a lot of writing today, so maybe it's OK for me to do something else?"

Kitsune realised that this would be an opportunity to get closer to Keitaro, especially if they could have a few drinks while playing pool that evening. "Hey, Tsuruko-san, since you're pretty strong, do you think you could help me and Keitaro move something?"

"What are you thinking of moving?" the widow asked.

"A pool table. If we do it now, we could have a few frames tonight," the ash-blonde smiled winningly.

"I don't actually know how to play pool," Tsuruko replied. "Do you have a copy of the rules?"

"I found a cue in decent condition, so there might be a copy of the rules in the room," said Kitsune. "Even if there isn't, we could always play Killer."

Tsuruko blinked at the rather ominous name. "'Killer'?"

"It's an elimination type game, I'll explain when we've moved the table," the short-haired woman smiled.

* * *

It took the three of them half an hour to get the table into the common room. There had been much straining and sweating, especially from Kitsune, who wasn't used to such manual labour, but the table had gone into the room.

"I'll take care of this cover," Kitsune volunteer. She carefully folded the beige material, making sure not to get the vast amount of dust onto the green baize or herself. "I'll be right back."

"Do you mind if we get cleaned up before we have dinner," Tsuruko suggested.

Kitsune returned, her plan to shake most of the dust off the cover had backfired and it now looked like she was wearing most of that dust.

"Yeah," Keitaro nodded, having seen Kitsune's misfortune. "Let's all get cleaned up before dinner."

* * *

In Motoko's room, Tsuruko stripped off down to her underwear before selecting her outfit for the evening. She had only brought a few changes of clothes, since her visit was meant to be a short stay and that was causing her a little bit of concern.

'I could wear the kimono again, but I'm not sure that's going to make playing pool easy if I might need to reach over the table,' she mused. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. "I think that Keitaro-san might be a little distracted if I just went out like this."

Shaking her head as she smiled at the idea of just wearing her underwear for the rest of the evening, she noticed her sister's wardrobe. 'Well, I suppose I could borrow something from Motoko-han...'

Opening the door to the wardrobe, Tsuruko searched through Motoko's outfits for something suitable. It didn't take long for the widow to find the right outfit.

'Motoko-han hasn't even taken the tags off,' she thought sadly.

* * *

In her room, Kitsune was also pondering what she should wear for that evening. The afternoon had gotten quite warm, so she was thinking that jeans were unnecessary.

'Besides, this is a chance to get closer to Keitaro,' she thought as she looked at the myriad of outfits she'd acquired over the years. Kitsune looked at the maid's uniform. 'No, too close to what I actually do here.'

The next uniform in the wardrobe was a nurse's outfit. 'Haven't worn that one in a while... No, I better go with something that won't look weird when you're spending the evening at home.'

The ash-blonde spotted a pair shorts. "It is a warm evening and we will be playing pool..." she said, a smile forming on her lips. "Yes, and that blouse where the buttons easily undo..."

Kitsune pulled out a thin, cream coloured blouse and placed it on her bed. She reached into her underwear draw for a fresh set. She paused as a thought occurred to her and mock-frowned. "Oh dear, all my normal underwear is in the wash. Only my special occasion lingerie is clean right now. Going braless would just embarrass Keitaro, and I did promise to be stop teasing him so much..."

The short-haired woman smiled as she pulled out her chosen underwear for the evening. "Oh yeah, this'll let him know how serious I am."

* * *

Keitaro took it upon himself to make dinner for everyone, since he'd gotten cleaned up first. He was about to call for the others when Kitsune arrived and took a seat at the table.

"Oh, I was just about to call you to let you know dinner was ready," he said. It was then that he noticed that the short-haired woman had changed into quite a nice blouse.

Before he could comment, Tsuruko arrived in a bright red, off the shoulder dress. It was clear that it was a little too small for her, especially around the chest, but even so, Tsuruko looked stunning in the garment.

It gave Keitaro the impression that she was here for pleasure, rather than business.

"Oh, it looks like I've timed this right," the swordswoman smiled as she took a seat at the table. She moved a lock of her hair behind her left ear.

"Err... yes," Keitaro replied, taking a moment to reassess what was going on. "Now, who's hungry?"

"I am," Tsuruko smiled.

"Me, too," said Kitsune. She cast a glance at the dress Tsuruko was wearing. 'That's Motoko's dress. She's going to make a play for Keitaro!'

Because he was serving the meal, Keitaro missed the look of challenge that Kitsune shot Tsuruko.

'Oh, so you think you can compete with me, do you?' the widow thought with a smirk. 'It might have been a while, but I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.'

"That's an interesting dress, Tsuruko-san," Keitaro commented as he handed a plate to Kitsune.

"I have a confession to make," Tsuruko said with a nervous smile. "I borrowed it from Motoko-han. I know that it's not nice to borrow things without asking."

Keitaro blushed when he heard the raven-haired woman's reasoning. "It was either that or spend the rest of the evening in my underwear."

"Yes, that's true," the ash-blonde nodded as she filled her plate with the food Keitaro had prepared. "But we're all adults here. We've all seen naked bodies before, haven't we?"

"I didn't realise that you were trying to turn the Hinata Sou into some sort of exhibitionist camp, Kitsune," Tsuruko replied. "I don't think Motoko-han would approve of such a change, do you?"

"It took her long enough to accept me being the manager," Keitaro muttered. He realised that his comment had been spoken aloud and moved on to dishing out the rest of the meal.

'Uh-oh, better stop Keitaro thinking about Motoko,' the short-haired woman decided. 'I've got enough competition from the Aoyama family as it is.'

Tsuruko noticed the look of panic on her rival's face and reached the same conclusion. "I wouldn't worry about what a little girl thinks, Keitaro-san. Not when you can have a woman who knows what she wants."

Keitaro picked up on the purr that the swordswoman spoke her words with and, when he factored in the kiss she gave him earlier, finally put two and two together and came up with four. 'Right, Tsuruko-san is serious about being with me. How do I do this without screwing this up completely?'

"Speaking of a woman's wants," Kitsune winked playfully, "How about you finish dishing up?"

"Yes, sorry," the ronin apologised as he served the rest of the meal.

* * *

After dinner, Kitsune racked the table for the game of Killer.

"And how do we play this game?" Tsuruko asked, noting that the ash-blonde was quite happy to bend over the table in front of Keitaro. 'Oh dear, it seems he missed that show, Kitsune. What a shame.'

Keitaro was preparing drinks when he realised that Kitsune was making a bit of a show about bending over the table to prepare the game. He decided that it was for the best if he didn't stare at her. Especially since those shorts did contain a fine pair of buttocks that, had things gone differently three weeks ago, he'd have loved to have run his hands over them.

"Well, the basics are we each take it in turns to have a shot and attempt to pot a ball. If we miss a pot or make a foul shot, we lose a life. We start out with three lives each," Kitsune explained. "Potting the black will get you a life back and we won't count a life gone if you don't pot on the break shot."

"That seems clear enough," the widow said as she reached for her drink. "So, who's going first?"

"I'll go first," the ash-blonde offered. "It'll give you a chance to get an idea on how to hold a cue."

* * *

To be continued...

Feel free to stalk me on Twitter. I'm sure you can figure out what my username on there is. If you can't, then there's a link in my profile page.


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